Verbal abuse is becoming more and more common in relationships, yet still remains close to non-existent on the radar. In fact, it’s almost seen as a “normal” aspect of relationships. Sadly, this sets an example for younger generations that verbal abuse is okay. According to yourtango.com, "one in four teenage girls in a relationship report that they've been repeatedly verbally abused." [1] Clearly, this is a problem. So, let’s start by going over the basic indications you may be in a verbally abusive relationship.
Patricia Evans, author of 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship,' claims you might be in a verbally abusive relationship if you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions [2]:
- Does your partner seem irritated and/or angry with you multiple times a week?
- Do you often feel confused and/or frustrated by your partner's answers to your questions, as if you are having two totally separate conversations?
- Does your partner deny being angry, even when it's obvious they are?
- After trying to discuss your emotions with your partner, are you often left with the feeling that the issue remains unresolved?
Let's venture on and discuss the matter more in depth, as it easy to feel perplexed when deciding if you are in a verbally abusive relationship or not. You also may already know the answer, but are afraid to admit it.
Am I being too sensitive?
You are crying all the time because of what your boyfriend, spouse or partner says or does to you. However, you think you it may be because you are too sensitive. Well, have you told your partner that you are sensitive lately? If you have, a respectful partner will most likely work on not hurting your feelings by displaying less harmful behavior. Honestly speaking though, a blind man can tell you are sensitive by the sound of your cries. If the fact that you are upset or crying more often than not is not enough for your partner to change his behavior, then it is probably not your fault -actually, it is never your fault for being verbally abused. If the aforementioned is the case, you most likely are not being too sensitive.
Am I crazy?
Does your partner make you feel you are crazy for being emotional, insecure, etc.? Or does your partner flat out tell you that you are crazy? This ones simple, it is a part of verbal abuse that is referred to as "crazy making." If the abuser can make you feel crazy, then you are in the wrong and not them. Furthermore, they can continue their abusive behavior. Even worse, they can do so with a sense of security that you will not leave them. Manipulation is probably the number one factor of verbal abuse.
If your partner makes you feel like less of a person, it is time to go. Do not worry about what the world says, worry about your mental health. Without it, you will lose your full potential in life. Ask yourself this, “if being in a relationship means being degraded and belittled, am I better off alone?” Hopefully, you will surprise yourself with a resounding “yes” to that question.
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References
1.) http://www.yourtango.com/experts/galtime-com/5-signs-verbal-abuse
2.) The Verbally Abusive Relationship; Patricia Evans
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