"He is in front of Christ right now..."
According to Venezuela's acting president Nicolás Maduro, the recently deceased Comandante Eternal Hugo Chávez was the deciding factor in The Almighty choosing Pope Francis to lead the Catholic Church, as reported by by ABC News/Univision on March 14, 2013.
While addressing the Caracas International Book Fair, Maduro informed the crowd that the College of Cardinals had just selected the former Archbishop of Buenos Aires, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina as new Pontifex Maximus of the Catholic Church.
Addressing the masses, Maduro stated:
"We have important news, they just elected a South American as pope for the first time in history.
We know that our commander has ascended to [heaven], and that he is in front of Christ right now.
He must have influenced something for a South American pope to be chosen."
Not quite done yet pontificating, El Presidente Provisional continued his own personal catechism to the cheering throng:
"A new hand arrived and Christ said, 'Well, the time for South America has come.'
At any moment now [Chavez] will call for a constituent assembly in Heaven to change the Church, so that the people, the true people of Christ will govern the world."
Try again, Nicolás...
According to the official teachings of the Catholic Church, Jesus Christ is not the prime celestial mover in the selection of a new pope.
However, the Third Person of the Most Blessed Trinity, the Holy Ghost is considered to be the inspiration for the Cardinals to make the selection the most pleasing to God.
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