AP Photo/KFC, Dan Kremer
Food is an integral part of every person’s life, one of those few unifying factors across all colors and creeds: we eat. Gourmet foods representative of specific geographical regions and ethnicities are often celebrated, particularly by individuals not belonging to these foreign categories, especially in the United States. When the average person goes out for dinner, they run down the list of possible genres: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, French, barbeque, maybe a steak. Going out specifically for “American” cuisine is very rare, and is often equated with fast food. However, about once every generation, a gem of American culinary ingenuity is loosed upon the world for all its citizens to behold. Introducing:
The Double Down from KFC.
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the company that invented chicken and the frying process, now brings you a modern marvel of food engineering. This “sandwich” has no bun—already these visionaries are pushing the repressive boundaries of fast food. Instead, your sauce, cheese, and bacon are housed between two golden, crispy chicken breasts, snugly robed in a paper wrapper to rival any Christmas gift. In fact, had the new crown jewel of KFC been available during ancient times, at least one of the Wise Men would have presented baby Jesus with the Double Down, and he surely would have been considered the wisest.
To be fair, we must give credit where credit is due. Kentucky’s new chicken heavyweight manages to come in with 10 grams less fat than McDonald’s Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese. Now, this is not an excuse to go eat five for dinner. Many people have turned their diets into kidney-straining, high-protein feasts in the name of Atkins. Yes, the Double Down has almost no carbs relative to a traditional sandwich, and if you ordered a diet cola (which is a whole other can of worms to be discussed) you’d loosely be staying within the parameters of that crazy nutritional scheme. Unfortunately, that is not how your pants will be fitting you the next day; the Double Down has 32 grams of fat—half the daily for an adult.
If curiosity gets the best of you, be sure to try the new Double Down from KFC in a safe environment, with friends you can trust. Maybe even dial 9-1 on the phone before taking your first bite. You can never be too careful.
As for Kentucky Fried Chicken, perhaps they should change their slogan to something that better encapsulates the Vegas-inspired attitude that the Double Down has to offer: What happens in KFC, stays in your artery.