Vegan "Instant" Chocolate Pudding

Shockingly lasted long enough for a portrait

Now, I'm (clearly) not vegan, but I AM an impatient chocolate-inhaling monstroid. And the best way to get a straight-to-the-brain fix that I know of is shoveling big ice creams scoopfuls of chocolate pudding into my face. Except I'm too indignant to assemble one from scratch, what with the procuring of ingredients and cooking and waiting for it to cool?! I'm also skeptical of what those grocery store instant puddings contain that make the, er, coagulation so endearingly instant. Enter this life-altering vegan chocolate pudding.

It's made with tofu. Yes, really! For those of you who are tofu-averse this might be a hard sell, but you simply must take my word for it. After you stick one trembling little finger into this awesomeness you will soon be using your entire hand as a scoop to mash this delicious goop into your face.

Vegan "Instant" Chocolate Pudding

1 box silken tofu ($0.89 at Broadway Supermarket in Uptown)

1/2 cup cocoa powder (more if you like your pudding extra-chocolatey)

1/2 cup sugar

meat of one young coconut (optional)*

handful of chocolate chips (optional)

Put all ingredients except chocolate chips in a blender or food processor (if you have a stick blender, just put the ingredients in a large bowl). Blend it 'till it's creamy! Stir in chocolate chips if you so desire. Eat it straight from the bowl of your food processor, in between spoonfuls of peanut butter.

*If you don't have a young coconut, it's no big deal, the pudding will still be delicious. That said, the coconut lends the pudding some extra creaminess and je nais sais quoi so you will be duly rewarded for the extra effort. Get young coconuts for $1.29 at Tai Nam Market.