Love is in the air. Not the actual atmosphere, of course, because that’s full of nitrogren, oxygen and water vapor with some local pollutants and the occasional pheromones. Love is in the airwaves, making a transit from one terminal to another, be it a cable box, internet server, or cell phone, the message is clear: today is supposed to be a day where love finds expression. It’s Valentine’s Day.
Are we over this yet?
With fewer and fewer couples deciding to tie the knot in the not-so-traditional Christian tradition and the United Postal Service quickening its geriatric crawl toward death, it’s about time to reject the confectionary nature of holidays like this. I’m not one of those cynics who believes that Valentine’s Day is a creation of greeting card companies, and with the internet at your disposal for research, you shouldn’t abuse yourself with this notion either. The holiday is more than 1,500 years old. At some point in the last few hundred years, hungry merchants seized the opportunity to market their wares by victimizing one of the most powerful human impulses, and that’s why Valentine’s Day is still celebrated. If you don’t believe me, you can do some research to find out why men are entreated to give women diamonds several times per year.
After all, tomorrow is the Gregorian calendar day for Candlemas, but you don’t see sailors avoiding seafaring or anyone using this day as a weather barometer. That got co-opted by Groundhog Day.
The signs are everywhere; you can barely turn on any electronic device without hearing or seeing something about Valentine’s Day, and those conditioned to believe it offers an opportunity to express any real emotion are prepared to extol the holiday’s virtues. Regardless of your schedule, inclination, or monetary situation, some type of recognition is required. It’s okay if you fight every other day of the year, or play psychological games with your partner, or engage in passive-aggressive wars of attrition, but as long as you buy a paper card, some chocolate, and spend $40 on a handful of flowers that will be dead inside of a week, everything will be forgiven!
But we all know that’s not the case. Unless Valentine’s Day becomes a day of cleansing on par with Yom Kippur in which we actually atone for past indiscretions, it will continue to be a farce.
If you have a significant other, perhaps instead of buying some chalky candy and a new car (President’s Day is the ‘car’ holiday, but who says February 14th isn’t next?), you should endeavor to do something real for your partner. Maybe there’s a movie they want to see, or a restaurant they want to try. No need to make it on February 14th. Honestly, when was they last time you bothered to celebrate your birthday on the actual day of your birthday?
On the other hand, if you are single or otherwise miserable on days like today, wait until tomorrow before you get going on a dating site. Meeting or messaging someone on a day like today leaves you open to the prejudices of the holiday; for example, say you message someone you like who has very similar tastes and with whom you have a lot in common, and that person says it's a good omen that you first spoke on Valentine's Day while you believe that to be crap. Though it won't be as bad as Alyssa Bereznak's narcissitic blunder, you won't be looking forward to a second date.
However, if you are single and wish to remain single, feel free to rage into the night. After all, according to Ghostbusters II, you only have four more years to go.
E-mail Bryan at onlinedatingexaminer@gmail.com for advice, questions, opinions, and website review suggestions. Questions, advice, and opinions may be posted anonymously. Follow Bryan on Twitter at ExaminerDating.
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