Valentine’s Day, or “Friendship Day” as it is sometimes referred to in schools, is supposed to be a day to celebrate friendship and love. But for some kids on the autism spectrum, it can be a reminder of how difficult it is for them to make and keep friends. Autistic kids have are hardwired sometimes differently when it comes to social cues, and humor. They can be blind to body language, they may not understand idioms or get some of the idiosyncrasy of social behavior that for some reason we have deemed as “normal”. Some children don’t have the huge social hurdles as others, and some kids are more blissfully unaware of there even being a problem, and for those kids I suppose there isn’t’ one. But for the kids in the middle, the older they are, the worse it may be.
Valentine’s Day for many adults can be riddled with the same problems. High expectations not met or a reminder of a recently painful let down. For some it is a fun, and silly holiday, with the promises of fancier than average meals, gifts and tokens of affection. Children with an autism spectrum disorder or ASD, are all different as people are different, though they typically share sensory issues and socialization struggles. So finding activities that will be fun for them is often more of a challenge. Crafting and baking aren’t always the best choices for kids who have fine motor issues, can’t sit still for very long or have anxiety issues in the kitchen. So you have to decide what your little valentine can handle, and not worry about them having a large group of friends, but rather just to remind them of how many people already love them. Working on scrapbooks, photo albums and home movies visually display memories and all of the people in your child’s life that matter.
Friends are important in life, it makes the ride much more interesting, more meaningful. Friends provide not just assistance with tasks or help when needed, but they also teach us about ourselves. Which is both positive and negative, because not all friends are created equal. You don’t want your kids to miss out on having friends, but one thing to keep in mind is it isn’t the amount of friends a person has or where they come from, or their age. Your job is to keep your child around people, cousins, and siblings and foster what you can of those relationships. Your friends are important as a foundation, for no matter how your child/children may struggle, they will still know they are loved , understood and accepted by some people. Which is something all of us want.
NJ Kids online offers regular activities you can look up for ideas or events to take your special kids.
The Essex County Enviromental Center is offering Hot Chocolate after your hike on Saturday February 11.
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