There is much talk about the use of energy these days. How to make things more energy efficient, how to get and use the energy, etc. There is talk about how to get and use clean energy. There is even debate over which light bulbs are best to use.
We are going to talk about the energy you have and can use in your marriage and how to use it most effectively. It is easy for couples to get so busy I their lives, jobs, etc. that they don't feel they have much energy left over for each other.
It is very important that couples schedule in time for each other and that they don't just wait and hope for it to happen. It is also important that they don't expend all of their energy before they can get a chance to be together. If a couple doesn't have enough energy for each other, they need to re-prioritize what is most important to them and make adjustments as needed.
Couples also need to learn the best way to use the energy they're giving. It is easy for individuals to give the kind of love that they need and expect from their spouse instead of giving what the spouse needs. Most people have an idea about how to make someone feel loved and think that must be what everyone needs.
The problem with this is that most of the time their needs are not the same as the needs of the spouse. If they try to give their spouse what they themselves would need to feel loved, they end up not meeting the needs of their spouse.
When this happens, they usually feel "I give and give and I don't get anything in return". This is because they are not meeting their spouse's needs, and their spouse is not meeting their needs, so they are both unfulfilled. They are like hamsters in a wheel running and running and going nowhere. This is not an efficient use of their energy.
To break this cycle, it is a good idea to talk with your spouse about what you are both needing from the relationship. When you know what your spouse's needs are, it will be much easier to meet them. And then instead of spinning in a wheel, you can both start to move forward together and put that energy to better use!