Dating can be fun, but you can also get your heart broken if you fail to see the red flags in the beginning. To avoid getting hurt, keep your eyes open, observe your date and don't get too attached until you're sure of his intentions and his character. The following are some of the top red flags:
-He's a no show or cancels the first date at the very last minute for a BS reason, "Something at work came up." "I had to help a friend with something." Don't date this man, he is bad news. Unless its a true emergency, there is something else going on. Most of the time he has a girlfriend or is dating another woman. Some women are inclined to give this man a second chance, but 99.9 percent of the time, this relationship is headed nowhere.
-He doesn't consistently ask you out for Saturday night dates. If a man hasn't asked you out by date three for Saturday night, you should politely decline all other date offers by saying something like, "I would love to but I already have plans for [X] day." If he likes you and you do this a few times, he will start asking you out for Saturday nights. It may take up to a month and a half to get the ball rolling (anything longer than that and he is seeing another woman he likes more). Once he asks you out for Saturday night dates, make sure you accept (if he asks by Wednesday). You want to reward him (not confuse him) by being available for Saturday night dates. You can have girl time or family time on Friday nights or Sundays. The Saturday night date tells you how serious a man is about you, where he sees the relationship heading and whether you are his number one girl or not. When a man consistently (every week) asks you out for Saturday night you can be sure he is really into you and is serious about you. To watch "Is He Asking You Out for Saturday Night? in video, go here.
-He doesn't introduce you to his family and close friends and its been more than 3-6 months. Some men are shy about the whole thing, but if its been more than six months and you haven't met any of his friends or family, something is up. He is hiding something. He is either seeing another woman or doesn't want it to be known he's "off the market." Step back from this relationship.
-He disrespects you or yells at you in public/or private. Do you love yourself enough to walk away from this relationship? Work on really believing you deserve the best treatment from men. When you believe that and when you love yourself unconditionally, you will attract a man who feels the same way about you and who treats you with respect and kindness.
-He doesn't make any special plans with you on the holidays. This is a huge red flag. A man who is into you will make special plans with you on your birthday, Valentine's Day, and all other major holidays. A man in love will not be too cynical or too busy to celebrate important events with you. Re-evaluate your relationship and consider seeing others.
-He asks you to pay half or "go dutch." When a man asks you to pay your half or complains about said cost of taking you out, he is telling you you are not "The Girl." She is still out there. And when he meets her, you can be pretty sure he won't be asking her to split the check. Move on.
-He complains about his fiances, is out of work and says he can't afford to date you. If a man is out of work, he will generally be unhappy with his life. You are not his savior, or his wife, and you do not have to be universally accepting of his condition. When a man says he can't afford to date you, he is telling you he does NOT want to date you. Dating an unemployed, miserable man is not what you want. Look elsewhere.
Check out my dating book (coming soon) for more dating red flags.
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