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Unmarried couples: Put this on your New Year's resolution list


Now that the holidays are almost over and the year 2010 is nearly here, couples, there are some things that you must leave behind in 2009 and some things that you can look forward to in the future. Here is a short list that should guide you on your way to a fruitful and happy relationship.

1. Figure out the goal of your relationship.
If you have been in a relationship for awhile and you are unclear as to where the relationship is heading, now is the time to find out. You can ask yourself these questions and see where you are in the answers: 
                         a) Does your mate have plans for your future together?
                         b) Are there specific goals for your relationship?
                         c) Do you know the short-term and long-term goals of your mate?
                         d) Do you know your own short-term and long-term goals?
If you answer "no" to any or all of these questions, it might be time to do an evaluation and see where you are for yourself before you enter into another year of uncertainty.

2. Figure out what makes your mate feel loved.
In a committed and mature relationship, one of the major goals of the couple is to find out what makes each other happy and feel loved. Does your mate love having his/her ego stroked? Does your mate love it when you listen? Does your mate love it when you express how you are feeling? Does your mate like it when you buy flowers, jewelry, etc? It is so important to nurture the relationship with things that matter to the other person. When you do these things lovingly and from the heart, you find that your needs will be catered to as well.

3. Figure out if the person you are with fulfills you right now.
In so many relationships, couples feel as if they can change each other to their liking. They believe that they can mold the other into what they want him or her to be. This approach, unfortunately, rarely, if ever, works in that person's favor. Listen, if your mate does not make you happy and is not what you want right now, then it is likely that your mate might never be. A person has to want to change. You can't make them-and even if you do, chances are, that person is not happy. So, save some time and more heartache and decide if your mate really is your better half, or if you need to cut that half off.

4. Figure out how to respect and love each other.
It's simple. When you love and respect each other, you find it harder to sweat the small stuff. Have fun and enjoy each other.


Nashville Relationships Examiner Tia Lee encourages you to give feedback at