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Understanding your dog's conversation

Christopher Morley said, among many other things, “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does.” Well, do you understand your dog’s conversations?

If you live in a country other than America, here are some woof tips when a dog speaks to you. In China, it’s wang wang, in Russia, gav gav, in Iceland, voff voff; in Japan, wan wan. If you are in the Emerald Isles, it’s amh amh, in Thailand, hoang hoang; in Indonesia, it’s guk guk and if you are in France, it’s oua oua.

But I’m assuming you live in the wonderful United States of America. Our dogs listen to the words we speak and I don’t just mean hello, here’s a treat or let’s go for a walk. They listen to our philosophies of life, the kind of day we’ve had as well as intimate phone calls. They seem to understand us.

Joel Zadak has found a solution in his book, “If Dogs Could Talk” subtitled, “Tongues Unleashed,”published by New Seasons in 2005. It has recently been reprinted into a smaller six” by six” version for only $10.00. You will laugh at almost every photo and caption, bring it to work to share and keep it in your purse, laptop case and the glove box in your car.

Here are some inducements: A Sharpei sitting with his back to the camera and looking over his shoulder, says, “My backside smiles so much, my mouth doesn’t have to.” Or a short haired dog with its face in zoom and a biscuit on his nose, saying, “This is torture. Someone call the A.S.P.C.A.” Five German Shepherd Dog puppies with big milk moustaches wondering, “Why do you guys think Mom’s so happy all of a sudden?”

How about a dog overlooking its owner’s newspaper announcing, “We have to go home now. I have to call my broker.” One of the more moving ones is an older dog explaining, “I may not be able to run anymore, but I’m wise enough to appreciate the days when I could.” On a lighter note, a Jack Russell has his head tipped and earnestly remarks, Right now I’m doing your typical puppy jobs, but what I really want is to direct.”

Our pets are precious to us; but if you are a lover of canines, I would suggest buying this publication.