You're a wife, and even though you enjoy your role as a wife, over the years, you've found yourself testing your limitations in your marriage. It's only normal that you are still getting to know your husband, and there are two ways you're familiarizing yourself with him:
- By talking with him.
- By testing your limitations with him.
Testing your limitations doesn't mean you're a bad wife; it simply means you're human. Oftentimes, women tests their husbands to get answers to questions they believe their husbands wouldn't be truthful in answering and to get answers to questions they are too ashamed or afraid to ask their husbands.
Nowadays, Facebook is a major part of the lives of many couples, and many marriages have ended because of inappropriate behaviors exercised on Facebook, as well as other media sites. Oftentimes, such behaviors are indicative of problems in the marriage or problems in the woman herself. But what behaviors are un-wife like, and what does these behaviors often indicate? Below are seven un-wife-like behaviors that are Un-Christlike.
1. Posting up pictures of your derriere or cleavage. Sure, you may be fully clothed, and you're proud of your round rump and voluptuous breasts....but why are you advertising yourself as if you are available? Oftentimes, when we see this behavior, it is done from a woman who's been hurt by her husband, and her pictures are designed to draw lustful comments from oversexed men. The purpose of these comments is to show the husband that other men are interested in her. It is a silent threat that is designed to scream a clear message into an adulterous husband's almost deafened ears: “I can do what you've done, and I have a pick of men to do it with! You may not realize what you've got, but they do!” If there was no adulterous affair, such photos can often indicate that the wife either has low self-esteem and gets a boost every time someone compliments her or she may be dealing with a spirit of lust. If she is dealing with lust, this is often indicative of the presence of another soul tie in her, maybe from an adulterous affair she's had or a previous relationship.
Question: Would you hand a picture of your derriere or cleavage to JESUS? If on Judgment Day, GOD was to tell you to bring HIM ten photos of yourself from when you were in the earth realm, would you take him those photos you have posted up on Facebook?
2. Posting up pictures of other men and referring to them as “sexy.” Now, this is gonna enrage quite a few wives, and many will say that their husbands are “secure within themselves” and know that they are simply admiring from afar. Sure, it's a great thing for a couple to understand that they will be attracted to other people while married; that's normal. At the same time, it's great to be able to express how you truly feel with your husband, but what is not Godly is to lust after other men....period! It goes against the WORD of GOD. “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). I understand that you see the word “man” and “her” and you think you're exempt, but you're not. Anytime the Bible refers to “man”, it is referring to both man and woman, but with man being the head, GOD always addresses men first and foremost. Anytime you open the door for lust, you can't limit that spirit's behaviors. Imagine that you could see the spirit of lust, and it came to visit you. You explain to that spirit that your husband and you have an arrangement that you believe makes you look “secure” in your marriage. You tell that spirit that you're going to be posting up pictures of men and referring to them as “sexy.” You tell that spirit that you want to use it while you lust after those other men, but under one condition: That spirit is not to enter into your husband or invite its buddy Adultery into your marriage. After all, you believe you can control yourself while being enticed by that spirit, but you think the hubby would go overboard if enticed. That's foolish thinking. It's simple. You are a wife; therefore, the only man you should want to “oil down” or lie with is your husband. Lust destroys marriages; it doesn't strengthen them, contrary to popular belief.
This behavior doesn't always indicate that adultery has been committed (at least externally), but it is often indicative of an uncovered head at home (the husband). He has likely exercised disrespectful behaviors towards his wife, and the wife came on-board with his behaviors. It is always better to respect one another than it is to justify disrespecting one another and calling your behavior the showmanship of a secure woman in a "grown-up" relationship.
Question: Would you say to JESUS, “Oh LORD, look at this man's picture. Isn't he sexy,” and not shiver at the sound of a lightning bolt?
3. Posting up pictures of lingerie or any sexually charged uniforms you intend to wear for your spouse. Remember, the marriage bed is undefiled. Is the marriage bed that wooden piece of furniture in your bedroom with the mattress sitting atop it? No! The marriage bed is your mind. That's why GOD warns us that even lusting after another person is adultery. It means to not even entertain the thought of adultery. So, why are you online attempting to show everyone what your husband's “about to get?” Why are you attempting to get other men to lust after you? After all, that's what you're doing. We get it. You're married, so the two of you have sex....just like most married couples. This behavior is a resounding alarm that often indicates that another soul tie is present in you and you're attempting to show whomever that man is who hurt you what he's missing out on. I can guarantee you that if you are doing this, your profile is public OR you have some of your old boyfriend's friends or family members on your friend's list, and you are hoping that he will access your page through them.
Question: Would you show those pictures to your Pastor? What about the LORD?
4. Speaking of having sex or your intent to have sex with your husband. Why? Again, when you're married, everyone knows what you're doing with your husband. Sex is something people know about, but should not see unless they are engaged in it. Publicly announcing your plans to have sex with your husband is soft porn designed to invite others into your bedroom through their minds' eye, and this behavior is ungodly, disrespectful and the evidence of the presence of another soul tie. Why do women do such things when another soul tie is present? Just like animals, women subconsciously rank the men they've been with. Some men rank higher than others simply because of their stature, income, good looks, charming personality or the rank of the devil that inhabits them. (Let's keep it real). Because of this, the soul tie with one man may be stronger than the soul tie with another man. For example, a woman who openly speaks of having sex with her husband to others would not engage in that behavior if she was with the man she has the greatest soul tie with. Why? Because she'd be satisfied at home and feel no need to advertise herself. In advertising herself, she hasn't completely taken herself off the market just yet. She may be faithful in her body, but she's definitely not faithful in her mind.
Question: Would you call a prayer line and tell them that you're about to have sex with your husband and you need prayer to help you get through the ordeal? In your prayers, do you tell the LORD that you're about to or have had sex with your husband? Why? Because you know you can't seduce the LORD, but you can invite a chastening.
5. Advertising your problems at home. Sure, marriage is a roller coaster ride where you sometimes feel high enough to reach Heaven or low enough to warm your feet in hell, but it is never a good idea to tell a bunch of strangers that you're having a fight with your husband. Why is this? It oftentimes invites people to give you bad advice, and it displays a wide-open door in your marriage; one where devils can come and go as they please. Every problem at home should be discussed at home or with your Pastor, but never on social media. Advertising your problems at home often indicates that the strong man (your husband) is bound and you are trying to rid your home of whatever dark forces that have entered it. You've tried everything you can think of, and now, you're crying out for outside help. The best way to deal with a bound husband is to bind whatever force is binding him. “Or else how can one enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house” (Matthew 12:29).
Question: Would you hire Satan to be your marriage counselor? That's what you're doing every time you advertise your problems at home on social media sites.
6. Posting that infamous seductive look or the kissy lips. Who are you trying to seduce and why are you trying to seduce them? Sure, your hair looked great and your lips looked really inviting on that photo, but there's one problem you forgot to consider: You're married. Oftentimes, this behavior is exercised by a woman trying to get a rise out of her husband. She's testing his limits to see what is allowable or not allowable within their marriage. Additionally, it is oftentimes a revenge tactic designed to get the attention of a husband she feels has disrespected her. Lastly, a seductive look is oftentimes an open invitation; the evidence of a lustful spirit attached to that woman. While the husband may have become numb to and not notice his wife's open invitation posted on social media sites, other men will notice because the spirit of lust gives off an undeniable scent and its look is memorable. Remember male dogs can smell a female dog in heat from up to a mile away, just as an ungodly man can spot an adulteress from halfway around the world.
Question: Imagine this. You've just passed away and you're at the Pearly gates of Heaven. GOD tells your husband to bring him five pictures of you, and those pictures would determine whether you'd dance around in Heaven or slow roast in Hell; would you want him to take the LORD those seductive-looking photos of you?
7. Flirting with other men. Flirting with someone other than your spouse is an obvious offense against the spouse, but it's still done. Flirting is one of those behaviors that many women (and men) convince themselves that they are not guilty of. After all, that poke you sent on Facebook was harmless; right? Even though you're attracted to the man you've poked, you tell yourself you're simply playing with him, but you're not. You're flirting with him. How can you tell if you're flirting? If you're engaging in behaviors that you know would offend or hurt your spouse, you're likely flirting. If you wouldn't engage in these behaviors while in the presence of your spouse, you're likely flirting. Again, this behavior is oftentimes indicative of the presence of an unsevered soul tie with another man or other men.
Question: Would you flirt with another man if JESUS was walking with you? Guess what? HE lives in you!
Of course, this list doesn't cover ALL of the un-wife like behaviors, but it does touch on many of the crimes against a spouse that we see everyday on websites like Facebook and Instagram. Oftentimes, we as women have to remind ourselves that we can't place limitations on our husbands or future husbands that we aren't willing to honor. Flirting or inviting someone to flirt with us, whether it be through verbal or visual communication, is wrong. All the same, if you wouldn't do or think a thing in the presence of the LORD, then you know it's wrong, whether you admit to it or not. We must always conduct ourselves as women of GOD, and deal with our problems at home in a Godly manner.
But what if you've engaged in any of these behaviors, and you don't see anything wrong with them, nor does your spouse complain? My advice to you is to ask the LORD what HE has to say, and not be led by your flesh. Sure, making changes in our minds and lifestyles is oftentimes unwelcomed and challenging, but without change, we can't expect to go any further than where we are and where we've already been. We must always be willing to embrace uncomfortable changes in our minds until they become comfortable lifestyle habits that we're accustomed to. A wife who doesn't grow anywhere won't go anywhere.
Also, please be very honest with yourself and GOD. Many marriages end because the wife is still bound by soul ties with other men, and these soul ties can be easily seen through a woman's dress code, speech, behaviors and associations. In order to be delivered from ungodly thinking and demonic strongholds, we must always be willing to submit our whole hearts to GOD, without hiding anything from HIM or holding anything back. If you're still in love with another man, tell GOD about it and ask to be delivered from that soul tie. If your husband has disrespected you in any way, ask GOD to put forgiveness in your heart towards your husband and renounce vengeful thinking. Not forgiving him means that you are rejecting him as your covering, and you've lowered him so you could deal with the anger and hurt that's inside of you. This is out of order because CHRIST is your husband's head; therefore, you should always address unresolved issues with the LORD and let HIM deal with your husband. You can never truly punish a husband. You can hurt him; you can scare him, and you can reject him, but you can't punish him. Vengeance belongs to GOD, and anytime a human being tries to hold it, they end up getting burned.
Finally, if you're married to a worldly man, you're going to engage in worldly behaviors because your head (husband) is leading you there. Women who have ungodly husbands often engage in ungodly behaviors in an attempt to keep, pleasure and punish their husbands. You're going to desire to make your husband happy; that's normal and it's biblical. “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34).
Always remember this: If you've married the wrong man, you are now charged with trying to win his soul for the LORD. You can't win his soul if you're wandering around in sin looking for answers. Anytime you give yourself to an ungodly man, you lose your witness with that man, and that's why the LORD charges you with displaying Godly behavior rather than always attempting to win him through your speech. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).
Remember: A man can't take fire into his bosom and not be burned, just as you can't play with sin and not taste death.
P.S. Dear Husbands: Be on the lookout for the Un-Husband Like List.