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U.S. Congressman introduces bill to allow taxpayers to use lame excuses to IRS

U.S. Congressman Steve Stockman (R-Tx)  introduces bill to allow taxpayers to use lame excuses to IRS
U.S. Congressman Steve Stockman (R-Tx) introduces bill to allow taxpayers to use lame excuses to IRSU.S. Congressman Steve Stockman

In a delightful twist on D.C. politics, Congressman Steve Stockman (R-TX) of district 36 here in Texas, introduced a bill on Friday that will allow taxpayers to utilize the “same lame excuses as IRS” after the recent fall out over the ridiculously dubious reasons as to why former IRS executive Lois Lerner’s emails cannot be produced according to a press release on his website.

American taxpayers are, in theory, supposed to keep their financial records for a minimum of seven years; however, since the IRS is unable to even maintain their records for half that amount of time, it’s unjust to put this burden onto the citizens.

When the IRS expected people to keep all their financial records for multiple years, bills were paid with handwritten checks to monthly statements that arrived in the United States Postal Service mail. It was easier back then to put a rubber band around the yearly bank statements and stash them in a box.

However, since most all citizens and merchants / utility providers have segued to the digital world in recent years, it’s now impractical to expect citizens to be able to handle this harsh type of record keeping.

Realistically, hard drives crash, entire mail servers go missing in action, subscriptions to redundant backup systems get canceled, and a whole slew of other issues go wrong.

Thankfully, Stockman is looking out for the everyman with his proposed bill, “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act” which will provide taxpayers with any of the following justifiable excuses for not producing documents to the IRS:

1. The dog ate my tax receipts
2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
3. Traded documents for five terrorists
4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
9. Was short on toilet paper while camping
10. At this point, what difference does it make?

The introduction of this bill comes a mere week after the IRS adamantly refused to turn over emails to House investigators due to a ‘computer glitch’ that has allegedly erased the hard drives of all incriminating evidence. The IRS also claimed that the hard drives would not be available for forensic investigation due to them having “just been destroyed for recycling”.

American taxpayers are encouraged to contact their Congressional representatives and ask them to support this bill at www.House.gov.