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Tweeting while teaching teens to drive?

Mom... We're home!   You can breathe now!!
Mom... We're home! You can breathe now!!
Tracy Lynn Cook

Tweeting while teaching a teen to drive may save lives.

We have all heard about or seen driving behaviors that are appalling. Shaving, waxing, spanking children, pulling over suddenly to spank children, updating Facebook statuses, texting, and of course, tweeting.

It is true that drivers should not tweet while driving, then again...there is nothing that says a passenger shouldn't.

In fact, tweeting is a great way to take your mind off the fact that your life could - at any moment - end. Drivers in other vehicles have no idea that the driver in your vehicle literally does not know how to drive.

Composing literary brilliance while keeping the message within the 140 character limit is challenging. Typing the carefully composed witty message on a keyboard no bigger than a debit card while regularly screeching to a halt is a challenge. This activity prevents other distracting behaviors that many parents engage in while suffering through car rides with your teen driver.

When I was learning to drive the family car - a 1970 Ford Econoline van - my mother didn't have twitter to keep her occupied. Anytime any object, moving or otherwise, came within 50 feet of the very large car, she would take breath that sounded as if it was to be her last breath on this earth.

Her 'last breath on Earth' noises always triggered a response reaction which was "OhMyGod!What?!?"

When my mothers action (last breath on Earth) - caused my reaction - ("OhMyGod!What?!?)" - while heart rhythms attempted to normalize, there was no driver actually consciously in control of the titanic vehicle.

I always found this to be dangerous and unnerving. To prevent outbursts of this nature - after basic driving instructions were covered and actual driving practice and experience was needed - twitter became a lifeline of sorts and provided a much needed distraction.

In my first few "driving" tweets, a personalized hashtag was born. #fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway became my tag.

Teaching my kid to drive. Look out Tempe-we'll be screeching to a stop @ a street near you!
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Me: dude! How fast are you going?
Kid: 50.....
Me: why?!?
Kid: because the speed limit is 45....
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Okay Scottsdale...Hannah the "skid to a stopper" is behind the wheel in your city!
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Gilbert: Best not let small kids and pets outside right now.....
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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We just took a corner on two wheels.....
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Kid: I need to learn cruise control
Me: why?
Kid: so I can speed but not get caught
:0
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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HaHa...now Hannah thinks the car is possessed...lol...

(cruise control freaked her out)
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Hannah is working on parallel parking...it's ugly folks...The litered (imaginary) wreckage is immense.
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Oh, Lordy, please let me not croak on the US60...it seems too early for death defying passengerism...
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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Feeling like a passenger in the game "Pole Position". Hope we don't fit a sign and burst into caroon flames!
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

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People who cut off my car when the kid is driving should be summarily shot....twice....
#fortheloveofgodgetoutoftheway

Tweeting, as far as I am concerned, is much healthier than hyperventilating through the streets of Gilbert and beyond while my kid is trying to not kill us both.

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Tracy Lynn Cook is a writer in Gilbert, Arizona. She is active on Facebook, Google +, Twitter, or contact her via email at TracyLynnCook@gmail.com.

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