OK, boils and ghouls, just one more foray into murder and mayhem before we hunker down to (slightly) more traditional fare for the rest of our holiday countdown. And All Through the House, first published in a 1954 issue of The Vault of Horror was one of EC Comics’ most famous stories. It was first filmed as an episode of the cheesy 1972 film version of Tales from the Crypt. When the Tales from the Crypt television series debuted in 1989, the story was finally given the Class-A treatment it deserved.
For director Robert Zemeckis, And All Through the House (originally broadcast on June 10, 1989) was a return to his horror roots. (The first screenplay he wrote with his former partner Bob Gale was Bordello of Blood which was eventually filmed as a Tales from the Crypt movie with Dennis Miller.) Adapted by Fred Dekker, And All Through the House is the Hichcockian thriller that Zemeckis always wanted to do (but failed miserably to achieve with What Lies Beneath).
The first moments of the opening credits certainly seem like a traditional holiday offering what with a shot of a crackling blaze in the fireplace and Nat King Cole’s iconic rendition of “The Christmas Song” on the soundtrack. As the credits end, the camera pans to Joseph Kamen (the wonderfully slimy Marshall Bell) who has just finished reading Dickens’ A Christmas Carol while his wife Elizabeth (Mary Ellen Trainor) stands right behind him with the fireplace poker.
Joseph: "God bless us, everyone". Right. Something needs to be done about that fire. Have you got the poker?
Elizabeth: Yes.
Joseph: Well, let me have it.
Elizabeth: What did you say?
Joseph: What are you, deaf? I said, let me have it.
(Elizabeth plants the poker right into the top of Joseph’s head.)
Elizabeth: Merry Christmas, you son of a bitch!
Having disposed of her husband, Elizabeth’s next priority is to put her young daughter Carrie Ann (Lindsay Whitney Barry) to bed.
Carrie: How come Joseph didn't say goodnight to me?
Elizabeth: He's asleep, sweetheart. Like you're supposed to be.
Carrie: But when Santa comes, he'll wake Joseph up.
Elizabeth: Honey, I don't think even Santa could wake up your stepfather.
Elizabeth proceeds to tuck Carrie Ann under the covers telling her to go to sleep and dream of her Christmas presents.
Carrie: What did you want for Christmas, mommy?
Elizabeth: I already got it, sweetheart. I already got it.
Elizabeth then goes downstairs, makes a phone call and leaves a message on her lover Vic’s answering machine. (Vic identifies himself as “the Vic Monster” on his machine.)
Elizabeth: Darling, it's Elizabeth. I know you told me not to call, but I just had to tell you. It's done. I did it. It's all ours, the money, everything. We're free. Merry Christmas, darling.
Elizabeth then drags Joseph’s corpse outside. As a result, she fails to hear the following breaking news announcement on the radio: “Police and sheriff’s departments in the Gaines County area have issued an all points bulletin this evening for a male Caucasian reported to have brutally murdered four women in the Pleasantville area. County authorities say that the man, a patient at the Pleasantville Institute for the Criminally Insane escaped earlier this evening and should be considered extremely dangerous. Officials confirm that the suspect is a heavyset man in his late 40's, and is reported to be wearing a Santa Claus suit stolen from the home of one of his victims. All citizens in the Pleasantville – Gaines area are advised to remain in their homes until further notice throughout this emergency alert situation.”
Right on cue, the faux Santa (Larry Drake) attacks Elizabeth armed with an ax right after she deposits Joseph’s remains in the back yard. She gives him a coup de grâce in his cojones and, while he’s temporarily disabled, locks herself in the house. Now, she has a Plan B: she’ll call the cops and blame Joseph’s murder on Santa. But unfortunately for her, Santa doesn’t take playing the patsy lying down. Thus, begins a deadly game of cat and mouse…
Tales from the Crypt: And All Through the House is available from Netflix (Season One) and Amazon.














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