First, sex toys on airplanes are legal. Hallelujah! But the legality seems to come at an embarrassing cost to travelers. Reported by the New York Post, TSA agents have been noted as targeting luggage and carry-ons shown (by x-ray) to contain sex toys. If you happen to be carrying your favorite vibrator with you on your business trip, TSA will probably make you whip it out and show it.
Sex bloggers and sex educators are noticing how often they get searched by airport security screeners simply for carrying sexually related items.
One traveler who sells sex toys says she knows her checked baggage was searched because the screener left behind a little personal note on the paperwork that airlines regulate must be placed inside all bags screened. The passenger said “His name was Jim, and he dotted the ‘i’ with a heart,” Kriner said. “The note said to have a nice day and had a smiley face scrawled next to it.” (New York Post).
This hardly seems professional and could be considered as a real waste of tax-payer time and money for TSA to be having a grand old time at the expense of travelers’ personal items. It’s like having a complete stranger walk through ones home and search their underwear drawer.
So what’s legal to carry onto a plane and what should be checked as far as sexual paraphernalia?
Vibrators and any dildos as long as they are under seven inches in length can be carried on. No John Holmes Red Eye flights for you! No “Snakes on a Plane”. While you’re thirty-thousand feet in the air, you’ll have to make do with average to soothe your travel phobias over turbulence.
Lubes of any kind are also fine as long as they are in amounts below 3.4 ounces. Again, no astro-gliding on a grand scale while in the air.
Other kinky gear such as whips, chains, restrains, paddles, batons, etc., should be in your checked baggage, but don’t think that will prevent an airport screener from rifling through your bag of tricks. All luggage gets x-rayed, and any suspicious or unusual objects will be searched, whether for safety or out of sheer curiosity.
I say blame the terrorists. If it weren’t for underwear and shoe bomb attempts, our panties, stilettos, and floggers wouldn’t be subject to scrutiny for personal amusement. Next time you fly, pack all your flirtatious funsies into one bag and leave a little note at the bottom: “Dear TSA agent, I’ve used every item in this bag recently but didn’t have time to run them through the dishwasher. Hope you enjoyed handling them.”
M. Gwynn has authored two books, Harvest and The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer on Amazon.com .
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