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What’s the big deal about marriage? What difference does a piece of paper make anyway? Does it really make a difference whether people marry the same sex, different sex, multiple spouses, a goat, mummy or anything else?
And what about those popular justifications for “non-traditional” marriage that usually include: "if we really love each other, that’s what counts" and the ever popular, "we should be free to marry whomever we want". Really?
Are we tasked to simply define marriage the way we want and execute it the way we want? Make it all up as we go along? Are you serious? This is nothing but hedonism, pure and simple. What would children learn about life and living if pleasure was the standard?
For those who may not know, hedonism is the doctrine that pleasure and happiness is the sole or chief good in life. Some synonyms might include: carnality, sensuality and debauchery. Antonyms might include: abstinence, temperance and sobriety. Simply put, hedonism would say that if it feels good do it. As such, there are no real negative consequences because the pleasure of the moment trumps all. Sadly, under the guise of pleasure, hedonism, especially when related to marriage, leaves a trail of disappointment, disillusionment, rejection and depression.
The reality is that we can cohabitate with whomever or whatever we wish. We are free to do so. Calling that marriage is another thing all together. Furthermore, asking society to legitimize our every hedonistic action is something else. Like it or not, while we may feel free to act in a certain manner, society may deem it inappropriate and not wish to condone or legitimize such behavior. Society makes these kinds of judgments all the time. Just recently, a town in California refused to legitimize people dining nude in public.
To be clear, pleasure has limitations. What satisfies today, will not satisfy tomorrow. When pleasure is the goal, the desire for pleasure eventually becomes insatiable and therefore impossible to achieve. In the end, the goal of pleasure is a totally empty pursuit.
Here’s the deal. While pleasurable, marriage is not about the pursuit of pleasure. In fact, getting married isn’t about being fulfilled, being happy or any other selfish or self-centered motive. It also isn’t about legitimizing the bedroom or our offspring. When these objectives become the reason or goal for a marriage, it is doomed to shallowness and ultimately failure because it runs contrary to the traditional biblical foundation. Marriage was never a man thing. It was and is a God thing. It was structured with purpose, passion and permenence. More in Part 2!
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