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Tough love is the best love

     Why do we spend so much time trying to make the most out of bad relationships? It is so common that there are blockbuster books and movies by the boatloads based on this very idea. ‘He’s just not that into you’ was a quote in a TV show, turned book, turned movie, a mega hit at each step, and is based on this very problem. The basis is that we spend more time convincing ourselves that there is more than there is, than we do worrying about our own best interest and being real about it. One of the most popular points of that movie was that we convince ourselves that our situation is the exception when it is actually the rule. Yet even knowing this, we continue until the relationship inevitably falls apart, and then we suffer with self loathing because we know we allowed it to happen, even nurtured the bad relationship we could have recognized a mile away if it were someone else’s.

     Now, granted, not everyone does this. Some people are clear and strong and never waver on their convictions to only settle for that perfect match and one day tip toe through the tulips of life, living happily ever after. However, the majority of us, stumble through the thorn filled rose fields, sometimes loaded with manure, and foolishly cover the manure with rose petals so we can conveniently forget it was ever there.

     It makes me wonder, when we can see so clearly the flaws in every other lousy relationship, why are we so willing to jump head first into the very same lousy relationship and call it different? Why is it so hard and sometimes impossible, to have our head and our heart on the same page? When it comes to affairs of the heart, is the only defense we have, the wall of pain that is built over self inflicted time?

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  • Joe 4 years ago

    Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain to finally, finally, give up.

  • Sunshine 4 years ago

    Another good article.

  • Jerseygirl 4 years ago

    “It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!” (Sex in the City)