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Top seven reasons you cannot be friends when the relationship is over

"Let's be friends." This is what one always chooses to say during a break up. Why? He or she believes that this statement will ease the pain of a breaking heart. In reality, both know friendship after a break up will never happen.

Friendship after a relationship ... No!
Photo by Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images

Could people really be friends with an ex? Here are seven reasons why two people cannot be friends when a relationship is over:

  1. It will be torturous. As friends, the luxuries of those PDA moments are now over. When he or she does something nice while under "relationship" status, it would be rewarded with a kiss. Kissing cannot happen now. So, why be in such a situation?
  2. The past cannot be changed. Whatever happened during the relationship is over and done. As friends, old memories whether good or bad will still linger in each other's minds. This could be a potential deal breaker on the "new" friendship. It could also possibly lead to unwarranted disagreements.
  3. It could lead to false hope. A break up does not mean that the feelings are gone. In fact, the feelings often times remain in the hearts of many. Someone has to admit that he or she thinks becoming "friends" is a way to get an ex back.
  4. It will send mixed signals. A couple shares too many memories to start a friendship. There will be too much familiarity between the two. Before long, they will fall into their old dating patterns. This can easily become confusing for one or both, because the question will be, "Are we back together?"
  5. Jealousy will surface. If exes are now besties, a conflict of interest is bound to come up. Does anyone really want his or her ex to start dating again? Here is something to remember: Real friends want each other to be happy.
  6. The ex will overshadow the next. The odds of finding a new love interest are slim if an ex is still a friend. Who wants to hang out with a new potential and her or his ex?
  7. It is not healthy. Since it was a break up, someone heart was broken. So why invest time and energy in the one who caused the heartbreak? If the break up were due to betrayal, verbal abuse, incompatible values, character flaws or other issues, why would one want to be friends with someone already proven bad for her or him?

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