Before I begin this week's list, I must admit that I found it incredibly difficult to find five moments that I truly enjoyed in "The Broken Code." In fact, after the opening of the show, I almost turned it off because it was so incredibly NOT funny. However, I stuck with it, and while I would have happily put #1 as all of the top five, here are the 5 best elements of Monday night's episode:
5. Royal Flush, Ted!
Without a doubt, Ted Mosby is the world's greatest Best Man. In addition to doing calligraphy and giving up his room to Barney's fake Aunt Ida, Ted arranged a poker game in honor of Barney. He even created a special deck of cards for the occasion on which Barney's face is emblazoned on each King, and the Queens are naked.
4. Holy Bro-ses!
Even though Barney once claimed that The Bro Code was created circa 1776, apparently continuity doesn't matter in this episode, and therefore more Barney-related historical figures are introduced. Welcome to Bro-ses, whose Ten Commandments do not include anything about honoring thy father and mother but instead decree "bros before hoes."
3. Barney don't know much about history
In addition to Bro-ses, Barney also taught Ted about Christopher Bro-lumbus (this is really getting sad). However, the enjoyable tidbit is that Barney believes that Christopher Columbus (Bro-lumbus) "hooked up with Pocahontas." Someone rent that man a Disney cartoon and teach him about the colors of the wind.
2. And her name is...?
After Robin complains and complains about her disaster of a Bachelorette Party, Lily must clue Robin into a fact that's obvious to everyone but Robin--Ms. Scherbatsky doesn't have any female friends. In fact, Robin's guest list for her party included someone obviously very dear to her named "Average-sized girl from that place."
1. Everyone asks for PATRICE
Nothing tops the return of Patrice. I'm pretty sure that they could get rid of all of the other characters (except Robin, who would need to yell at Patrice). Patrice attends Robin's Bachelorette Party, even though she wasn't invited and has brought Robin numerous gifts to her wedding, even though Robin hates her. The only thing I ask is that Patrice stands up at the wedding to object, so Robin can once again yell, "Nobody asked you, PATRICE!"
Next week, PLEASE be better. Please.