Donna Barnes, a life and relationship coach and owner of N.Y. Dating Coach in New York City, says there are five dating red flags on a first date that singles should know about. These Top Five warning signs apply whether you’re dating in your 20s or dating over 50. If your date exhibits any of these behaviors, it’s best to politely—but firmly—say “no” to a second date.
1. The first of the dating red flags on a first date is this: he or she is too controlling. He acts like he has to be in control of everything, and you aren’t even allowed to have an opinion. If he behaves like that on a first date, it’s only going to get worse later on. This is especially true if you are dating over 50, when behaviors become entrenched and it’s harder for most people to change. Your best bet is to say sayonara.
2. Dating red flag #2: they spend too much time talking about their exes. Singles should not be talking about their ex spouses and ex lovers on dates. A good date is about you and the person you’re with. You shouldn’t be spending your valuable time together talking about your ex. “If they are spending too much time talking about their ex, they probably aren’t over them yet,” says Barnes.
3. Negativity is another of the Top Five dating red flags on a first date. If everything out of his mouth is negative, and all he does is complain, complain, complain, then he isn’t going to be any fun to be with—unless you’re looking for someone with whom you can be crabby. As it says in the witty dating book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, if you’re a positive energy Tigger person, the worst thing you can do is date a depressing Eeyore.
4. Moving too fast is also a potential problem for singles. If on a first date she’s already talking about registering at Tiffany for wedding gifts, she’s not thinking clearly. The same thing goes for men—if he’s hinting that he’s got plenty of room in his apartment for a live-in girlfriend, then run for your life. Can you say, “codependent?”
5. The last of the Top Five dating red flags on a first date is not listening. By the time you are dating over 50 you should know how to listen. But if you’re younger, this can also be a problem. If your date is constantly talking but never giving you a chance to speak, that’s a very bad sign. If he or she dominates the conversation and interrupts you when you’re talking, then he doesn’t care what you have to say. It’s time to say, “Check please!
For additional dating tips, check out www.middleagedbabemagnet.blogspot.com.