Some of today’s cars cause sheer embarrassment. Many motorists not only shun such odd autos, they don’t want to be seen in anybody else’s either. Who wants to appear in a car that practically everybody around can’t stand?
So, I informally surveyed some folks in my San Diego neighborhood. The survey identified four autos those folks wouldn’t want to be caught dead in. The first three exactly matched the first three cars reported in CNBC’s survey. This is not a coincidence. Something must really be wrong with them.
This is the epitome of the modern day smart car. Smart, a subsidiary of Mercedes Benz, ought to know better than to make a smart car look dumb, imparting in its design such an unfortunate anthropomorphic characteristic. Its genius-level fuel economy must have made up for its truly odd appearance.
It gets an “F” in my grade book for Funny-looking. My survey respondents disagreed, saying the “F” stands for FartCar.
All participants in both the CNBC survey and mine were in 100 percent agreement on the dorky look built into such an intelligent vehicle. Californians value stylish design and eco-friendly performance. Smart fortwo shows that we can’t have both.
This automobile looks like – you’ve got it -- a cube. In white, it looks like a Good Humor ice cream truck. In beige, it looks like a big brown bag. In black, its presence strikes fear that aliens will emerge.
The name undoubtedly originated in Nissan’s focus groups as “cute,” getting to “cube” with an appropriate typo. Running with the theme, our San Diego survey respondents believe Cube owners are “squares.”
This automobile -- or, should I say Sherman Tank? -- is too politically incorrect to warrant a presence on any American road, street or highway, never mind on jammed San Diego streets in summer. It is simply too too:
- too big to fit down narrow city streets;
- too wide to slide into micron-sized parking places;
- too lumbering to do zero to 60 in 5 seconds flat onto The 5;
- too much of a gasoline guzzler to leave money for food;
- too wasteful of superior 4WD capability on San Diego beaches, where nothing that's fun is allowed anyway.
The Volt jolts unwary owners with a peculiar, if not utterly dangerous, hybrid power system. EV batteries can set a Chevy Volt ablaze, along with the garage it’s housed in or cars nearby. Notice how nobody parks close to a Chevy Volt.
Being seen in a Volt suggests its occupants care nothing about safety nor their assets at home, not an image that well-to-do San Diegans want to project. While speaking of image, California's bliss with Government Manufactured cars pales when considering that this car is, after all, a Chevy.
There you have it: the four biggest eyesores on the road as determined by unpopular opinion. San Diegans have spoken, and they said they would rather be caught dead in their Porsches than to be seen alive in those four ridiculous vehicles.