If I had to describe Social Media in 2011 with a single word, it would be: WINNING. Whether catalyzing multiple revolutions in the Arab Spring, taking down a prominent New York congressman, or helping the Occupy camps - well, occupy - social media has proven an invaluable tool for organizing and mobilizing large groups of people. Information is shared with the ferocity of a Black Friday crowd rioting over $2 waffle irons spawning memes that are viewed and shared by millions instantaneously. Thank God for them, without which this Top 30 list of Political News Stories of 2011 would be far less entertaining.
30. Thirty-Eight Percent of U.S. Citizens Fail U.S. Citizenship Test: Newsweek challenged 1,000 Americans to pass the U.S. Citizenship test and 380 failed. It's not a particularly proud moment in our nation’s history when more than a third can't pass the official test required of foreigners seeking legal citizenship. Six percent could not even circle Independence Day on a calendar - that's 60 people! Which brings me to...
29. FOX News Viewers Less Informed Than People Who Read No News: According to Fairleigh Dickinson University's latest PublicMind poll, Sunday morning news shows are the most informative, while FOX News viewers are actually dumber than those who consume no news at all. FOX News has proven to be a particularly egregious offender in disseminating unreliable information. Whether misrepresenting actual news via false headlines, accusing childhood cartoon characters of liberal bias, lamenting over the fact that 99.6% of “poor” households have fancy refrigerators, or denying global warming because it snows, FOX News illustrates why allowing interns to write your content is a terrible idea.
28. Glitter-Bombs: The Glitterati are LGBT activists who call attention to politicians spreading hate by dousing them in glitter at public events. You’re not a serious republican presidential candidate until you’ve been glitter-bombed – ask Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich, or Michelle Bachmann.
27. Bill O’Reilly Publicly States That God Causes the Tides Embarrassing Fifth Graders Everywhere and Inspiring New “You Can’t Explain That!” Meme: It began innocently enough with the host shouting down his atheist guest in typical fashion, but then something else happened: Bill O’Reilly said that the tide goes in and the tide goes out, and that this *phenomenon* could not be explained. Hilarity ensued. In fact, any elementary school science student can explain it.
26. Clint Eastwood Doesn’t Give a F*** if Gays Marry: “These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of. They go on and on with all this bullshit about ‘sanctity’ — don’t give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.”
Well played, sir. I forgive you for J. Edgar.
25. French Government Bans Women From Wearing Face Veils: The French government views face veils as incompatible with their society’s notion of equality, which presumes that women are: 1) wearing face veils at the compulsion of someone or something else, and 2) incapable of making decisions about their own lives – from what to believe, to what to wear. Some women have been detained for intentionally violating the ban.
Isn’t it ironic, to ban women from doing something while claiming it actually makes them freer? How does that work, exactly? At one point in time, women in the U.S. were banned from working in bars and prisons ‘for their own best interest,’ - claimed the individuals taking away their rights. Banning women from wearing a face veil for ambiguous reasons seems to reek of the same brand of gender stereotyping.
24. Saudi Arabia Continues to Violate Human Rights, but Tries to Be Less Obvious About It: As one of America’s biggest allies, Saudi Arabia has lots of cash and oil, and like any good middle-eastern country – lots of faith-based oppression. They recently executed a woman for ‘sorcery.’ Seriously.
Inspired by the Arab Spring, women began uploading videos of themselves driving – an activity that is currently illegal in the country. In order to ward off any revolutionary fervor, Saudi Arabia gave women the right to vote...beginning in 2015.
23. Donald Trump Pretends to Run for President – Gets Laughed Off the Planet: Anyone who says “I have a great relationship with the blacks” is almost certainly one of the most racist people you will ever meet. Trump gathered reporters at a press conference to take credit for the official release of Obama’s long-form birth certificate - as if being at the forefront of that silliness was a legitimate path to the White House.
Further illustrating the fact that no one takes him seriously, Trump was slated to moderate a Newsmax sponsored debate on Dec. 27, but backed out after all but 2 candidates (more on them later) declined the invitation. Watch him scowl as President Obama roasts him at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner (Inset left).
22. Obama Reveals Long-Form Birth Certificate: After several years of lawsuits and accusations targeting President Obama’s citizenship, the administration finally released his long-form birth certificate. Conservatives continue to secretly believe Obama is a Kenyan Muslim. The citizenship conspiracy theories have so run amok that they have their own Wiki. Sigh.
21. Marcus Bachmann Prays the Gay Away: Like Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Eddie Long, and George Rekers - “Thou doth protest too much”.
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