Yesterday Derek Fisher announced that he would return to the Los Angeles Lakers, which probably didn't come as a surprise to many Los Angeles residents. What did come as a surprise, however, was that earlier in the week Fisher met with the Miami Heat.
It makes sense that Fisher would "see what's out there" and use a meeting with the newly formed NBA powerhouse to leverage the Lakers into giving him what he wanted, but there wasn't one Laker fan that didn't feel a little lump in his throat when news came out that LeBron met Fisher at the airport.
What if Fisher is wooed by LeBron and co.? What if the glitz and glamour of South Beach was just too much to resist?
Luckily Fisher didn't fall for the trap, and he cited Kobe Bryant as one of the reasons why he ultimately decided to stay in L.A. As usual, however, I have my own theories. Here are my top ten reasons why D-Fish decided to shirk the tempting triumvirate and stay in Los Angeles.
- While most greedy NBA players jump at the idea of not having to pay a state income tax in Florida, Fisher, being an upstanding U.S. citizen, simply wouldn't feel right if he wasn't doing his civic duty by paying his taxes.
- L.A. and Miami are both beach communities, and we all know that Kobe looks much better in white than LeBron does.
- Whenever Fisher expressed the slightest interest in joining the Heat, LeBron brought out a camera crew, desperately hoping to catch the moment on film.
- Lamar Odom warned Fish that if he was in Miami, he would most likely end up on the E! Network's Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. Unlike most athletes, Fisher has no interest in reality TV.
- Fisher can't look at Dwyane Wade the same after all those stupid T-Mobile ads with Charles Barkley.
- Heat president Pat Riley got halfway through his pitch to Fisher before getting nostalgic about his time with the Lakers, tearing up, and whispering to Fish, "You know I still bleed purple and gold ... so do you. Get back to L.A.!"
- Fisher, having played for the Golden State Warriors, couldn't fathom another season with three good players and a roster full of should-be D-Leaguers.
- With the government in shambles, when Fisher retires it will be much easier to be elected as governor in California than in Florida.
- Fisher couldn't take the thought of hearing LMFAO's "I'm in Miami Trick" thumping until 6 a.m. every morning outside his house.
- Fisher didn't want his wife and daughter getting any ideas after seeing the skimpy bikinis worn around South Beach.