So you just got into some heated debate over Aqua Net, and your woman decides she’s heading off to see Pat Benatar rather than hang with your crew down by the beach, slamming sixers and racing down the back roads. Have no fear, my ruthless metalhead; there’s still your IROC, plenty of cassette tapes and open road around you. When you’ve been shitty, pissed or even ready to choke slam your kid brother at any point, here’s ten songs which can assist the crashing of your IROC and releasing of rage, brought to you live from a master of the heavy metal subculture.
#10: Heavy and Loud, Railway
This German mega metal outfit formed circa 1977 in Munich, offering fans some ball slamming riffs similar to a scratchier lead guitar of Saxon. This hit comes off their Climax album which debuted in 1987, immediately ready to slam the pants off your undernourished frame.
#9: No Rules, Kik Tracee
Tell those bitches who owns the road. Formed in 1988 in L.A., this band was initially said to be the ‘Clone of Guns & Roses’ yet they still busted out two albums and this hit off their No Rules album, definitely offering the riffs and vocals to piss off your neighbor.
#8: Goodnight & Goodbye, Impellitteri
Chris Impellitteri is already a fucking musical genius. Add Rob Rock and the rest of his clowns, and this 1988 hit off their Stand In Line album offers enough amp shaking, piss your mom off and drag-your-girl-out-by-the-hair anger management connotations to get you through your short drive into an oak tree. The album was digitally remastered in 2009 to bring out the electric sounds slightly clearer.
#7: Crazy Nights, Loudness
Who could possibly leave some fuckin’ Jap metal out of any top ten thrash lists? Akira Takasaki originally started his guitar days fronting Lazy until, of course, Twisted Sister management decided to give them some American flavor, inking them to a deal which tossed this single, off their Thunder in the East album, into the mainstream as their first USA slam song. The riff is very liberating, especially if you just watched Better Off Dead (yea, the two little Japs, one which learned English by watching Howard Cosell on Wide World of Sports).
#6: All We Are, Warlock
If anyone reading this blog wouldn’t nail Doro Pesch, you’re probably blind. The hottest metal goddess and front woman of Warlock threw down this hit back during the Triumph and Agony years, back when she was smokin’ hot. Wait, Doro is 48 and still hot. In any case, the beat, riffs and roaring amp effects make you want to slam the ‘Maro to the floor.
#5: Crusader, Saxon
Ok, this 1984 metal hit off their Crusader album may not have hints of thrashing speed metal, yet this song makes your bones chill with thoughts of taking over 10,000 pissed off Vikings and stealing their ship. Biff Byford makes his presence felt with vocals that reach eerie highs and stellar guitar riffs.
#4: Metal on Metal, Anvil
Truly one of your more iconic metal bands, this tune and album with the same name was produced by Chris Tsangarides, sung by “Lips” Kudlow and made prevalent by heavy airplay in 1982 while crashing muscle cars from coast to coast. Having been somewhat influential to Metallica (aside from Diamondhead), Anvil is still slamming today with engagements around their British homeland and Europe in general.
#3: Metal Shock, Flotsam & Jetsam
Heading back when Jason Newsted was just a young pup, this metalhead delight definitely makes the top three just because Flotsam kicks ass, with this song being no exception. Coming from their Doomsday for the Deceiver thrash album, Flotsam isn’t slowing down, still touring the world with their thrash mentalities while rehashing hits like this.
#2: Shortest Straw, Metallica
My mother couldn’t understand what she saw in Metallica, and this hit exemplifies her questioning. Since many people put Metallica #1 of all time, as would I, this is only top 10 thrash hits; therefore, this …And Justice For All mega metal album (also on vinyl, too) will definitely make your classic Berlinetta’s or IROC’s kick another gear forwards as you angrily drive down the road towards what you hope to be Tunatown.
#1: Am I Evil, Diamondhead
Yes, you guessed correctly. There is some reason why Metallica idolizes this band, and this song perhaps provides the best reasoning for their love. Off their metal album Borrowed Time, this 1982 hit which, of course, became the Metallica clone during their Jump in the Fire years, rates as perhaps the best song that blends an excellent riff, scary vocals and enough octane to really throw your car off the cliff – or into your local impound. This, by and large, is what British Metal is all about (calm down, Priest fans, we know you’re up there, too.) and will forever remain in any metal band’s heart.
How about playing these on piano?
Thanks to Online Pianist, one can actually learn to play these songs, and more, on an interactive piano keyboard. Because Online Pianist has grown in popularity, the odds you won't find something you can play on the piano are rare.
Now that you’re ready to find these tunes and wreck your present-day Bugatti Veyron, why not share this with your buddies, talk some shit over who’s right and wrong, and enjoy the lost sounds from our 80’s metal closet.