Toddler Tuesday: How to make timeouts work for you

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Welcome to Toddler Tuesday. This is the place to come each week to get some news you can use to help raise your toddlers.

This week: Mastering timeouts
 

Timeouts are supposed to be the end-all fix for toddler discipline, but there are some definite guidelines to follow if you want to help them be successful.
 

1. How long: A general rule of thumb for timeouts is one minute for every year of age.
 

2. Where: Keep the timeout spot as consistent as possible. When I first started timeouts with my kids, I bought them each a very bland rug and sat the rugs against the wall in the living room. When they threw a tantrum, talked back, or did something else they were specifically told not to do, they sat on their mat. The reason I like the mats is that they could travel with us to grandma’s house for even more consistency.
 

3. Explain it: Always explain to the child what he did wrong. If you skip this little step, your kids may think you are just tossing them aside. The point of a timeout is for them to sit still and quiet long enough that they “get it.” Removing them from the bad situation and then explaining what they did wrong better lets them grasp their disobedience. They need to know what the rules are and that you are going to stick with them… despite the tears, tantrums, or anything else they throw your way.
 

4. Stand your ground: Once placed in timeout, the child needs to stay there and be still and quiet for the time you expected. In my house, the timer does not start until they are quiet. And the time restarts if they move from their spot.
 

5. Love: After the timeout is over, get the child up and have them tell you what they did wrong. Just make sure they really understand what just happened. Then give them a hug and reassure them that you still love them.
 

Once you have consistently fulfilled each of these steps, I think you will find them to be a successful formula to most disciplinary issues for toddlers. It will take consistency on your part, and there will inevitably be some tears and tantrums, but timeouts really can work for toddlers. The older the child gets, groundings are also very useful.

For some children, mild corporate punishment has its place too, but that is a very personal issue.
 

If you like these tips, do not miss these stories too:

 Understanding toddler clothing sizes

Breaking the pacifier habit

Teaching a toddler colors

 Teaching a toddler numbers and counting

Check back often for more news of use to stay-at-home moms. And if you have any specific issues or problems you want me to tackle, please shoot me an email.