A bully is a person who intentionally seeks to harm, threaten or frighten other people through verbal, physical or emotional assault. Bullies often target people that are physically inferior to them, as in a playground setting; or, the victim can be socially inferior as is often the case in workplace bullying. In either case, this problematic behavior pattern is characterized by repeated aggressive attacks centered on the goal of gaining control over a victim.
The direct bullying style. According to their distinct behavior patterns, bullies can be put into two categories: direct and indirect bullying. As the name implies, direct bullies use brute force to assert control. This type of bullying is used by children in the classic playground scenario where a bigger boy or girl uses size and strength to harass a smaller classmate. Physical aggression can include
- hitting
- pushing
- pulling hair
- kicking
- grabbing
- shoving.
The Houston Chronicle ran a story recently about a boy who jumped out of a second story window because of being repeatedly bullied. Fortunately, the boy was not hurt but his desparate action shows how important it is for school officials to address this type of behavior.
The indirect bullying style. A more subtle form of bullying is the indirect style which has nothing to do with being larger or stronger that the victim. Also called social aggression, indirect bullies seek social isolation of their victims and accomplish this by attacking their relationships, their self esteem or their reputation.
The person utilizing this style of bullying will employ techniques such as exclusion, gossip, criticism, mocking or withholding friendship. Indirect bullying can be a very destructive element in the adult workplace environment.
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