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To date or not to date: a single moms dilemma


Subscribe to an online dating site.

The single mom's routine of caring for children, house, and pets; working; shuttling kids to and from activities; etc., can be exhausting and overwhelming. The days are over quickly, and there never seems to be enough time to get everything done. It would be easy to let the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, the months turn into years . . . and suddenly the kids are grown and you are alone. Now what? Would it be better to try to fit dating into your hectic schedule now, or to wait until the kids are grown and you have more time to devote to a relationship? The choice is a personal one, but the bottom line is that none of us knows how much time we have. Counting on the future is a risky business, so if finding that special someone is important to you, there is no time like the present.

But how will you find time and energy to search for someone, let alone actually go on dates? Time management skills are a must, and here are a few suggestions:
 


Don't waste time on the wrong men.

• Subscribe to an online dating site. Although there are other ways of meeting men, especially in the vibrant municipality of Fort Collins, online dating is usually quicker and more efficient. There are numerous free sites available, but the paid sites do tend to attract more men seeking serious, long-term relationships.

• Once you have subscribed, set aside a certain amount of time per week to search through the profiles and correspond with those that interest you. Don’t go over your set time limit as this can be hazardous for those of us that tend to procrastinate.

• Don’t waste time on the wrong men. After a 2-hour date, you should know if there is any potential there. Don’t be guilted into a second date if you didn’t enjoy the first. "Oh, he's seems so nice, I should like him . . . " No! Trust your instincts. 


Quality is more important than quantity.

• Once you find someone that you enjoy spending time with, set up a plan so that you can spend time together consistently based on your schedules. It is difficult to build a relationship with someone that you only see sporadically, so it’s important that time is spent together on a consistent and regular basis. Keep in contact via phone conversations and emails in between dates. 

• If you have been spending time with someone on a regular basis, and it becomes apparent that it’s not going to work out, move on. For example, if one of you wants to eventually get married, and the other is adamantly opposed to ever getting married again, why waste any more time on a dead end relationship?

Remember, when it comes to time spent with someone special, quality is more important than quantity. As a single mom, time is scarce, but it is possible to have a meaningful relationship with a man if you manage your time wisely.

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