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To call or not to call...

See how easy it is?
See how easy it is?

People in today's dating world seem to be very caught up in the "To call or not to call" question. It is obvious that after a first date, whether or not (and what time!) someone calls someone else about the event is significant to the future of the couple...but people obsess over it far too much.  Generally, it is women that spend the most time doing this, as it is far more the case with the female sex than with the male. The reason for this may be the conventionally submissive role of women in a relationship.  In our culture, women are taught to be pursued, not to pursue.

In this century, with all of the advancements and opportunities that women have presented to them, they are still waiting on the man to call. This leads to them spending far too much of their time worrying about whether or not he will. It is fine to wait a day or two to see if he will make that initial effort, but ladies need not to worry about it so much. If he wants to call and is able to, he will.  However, if he has not called after a day or two, it is completely okay to call him to check on the status of things! Far too often, women forget this or simply just refuse to take the initiative. It is understandable that many women would like to have the man make the effort and will just wait for him to call... but if it has been a few days and the fact that he has not called is affecting her daily life, it is time to do something about it. This is a time when conventionalism can be pushed aside a bit, even if just long enough to make that phone call.

The result is simple. Either he will want to talk to her and/or go out again, or he won't. It is not worth the additional hours of obsession that will inevitably ensue if she does not simply pick up the phone. What it really boils down to is this: does the woman in question regard 'not calling him' as important enough to make herself miserable until he does? Think long and hard about that one, then decide if it is more important to be conventional and stick to your guns, or to clear up any misunderstanding and go about the day worry-free!


  • Chanel Dickerson - Dallas Dating Examiner 5 years ago

    Hi Marina!

    This article is so on the money... so true! I think it's a good habit as women to be pursued but at the same time, we've gotta speak up and at least say hello, hello? (lol)

    Enjoyed the article!


  • Marina 5 years ago

    Thanks so much Chanel! I've seen way too many people be miserable over it... I loved "Become the person you want to date", by the way-so many people have this huge expectations without holding themselves to the same standard-its crazy.