A few years ago, I started a new job at a large company filled with women who would walk the hallways while pulling carry-on luggage behind them. I was amazed by how many consultants worked in our building and had to catch flights later in the day. At least that was my original thought. Then I looked closer and thought to myself…
Wait.
It’s the same person I saw yesterday.
Why did they bring luggage with them again?
And why did that other person bring luggage with them again? Who are these people?
Now, wait a second…these bags are far too small to be used as carry-on luggage.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks (I’m really slow). These people weren’t out of town consultants. No, no. These people weren’t consultants at all. They were just INCREDIBLY lazy women who dragged computers behind them instead of using a backpack or an over-the-shoulder bag like the rest of civilization.
I had hoped it was just a silly trend that would die quickly. But, here we are, 3 years later, and the trend has strengthened. Just yesterday as I left work, I could see 5 women lugging laptop roller bags in my line of sight. It was approximately 20% of the women near me in the hallway. A problem of gigantic proportions.
I couldn’t help but wonder who these people are. So I went to Amazon in search of a review that could describe who the typical laptop roller girl is. Low and behold, I found one in just a matter of minutes.
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful: 5 out of 5 stars
Totally in love with this roller bag!!, May 1, 2009
By Sassy "SimplyMemories" (Seattle Washington) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Kensington K62533US Contour Balance Notebook Roller Bag in Onyx, Fits Most 15-Inch Notebooks (Personal Computers)
I finally found a stylish and functional solution! Everyone who sees this wants one. It is small enough to easily manuever but at the same time has plenty of room for all of my stuff. It carries a ton of weight easily and the wheels are large and roll well even over uneven surfaces and curbs. The handle is study and doesn't twist or flex. The side cup holder folds shut and secures with a magnet when not in use. I have never had this bag perform the dreaded side roll or tip while I am walking along. It moves very smoothly and, a huge plus, is super quite even on tiled surfaces. The way it is made it doesn't bump into your legs while you carry it by the double strap handle. I can't think of anything that could be added to this bag to make it any more functional or attractive. I am in love! I am planning to order another one of these just in case they ever stop making them. The price is more than a steal when compared to other bags of MUCH less quality! If you need a rolling bag, buy this one!
Why does this review explain the typical laptop roller bag girl? Let me explain…
1. She used an exclamation point in the first sentence of her review about a laptop bag. Read here regarding excessive use of exclamation points. I have no doubt she would have used emoticons if it were possible in an Amazon review. Her airy attitude from the get go shows just how oblivious she is to the fact that she looks like an idiot dragging her laptop behind her.
2. She is under the belief that all people want a laptop roller bag. Again, completely oblivious to societal norms. Your laptop weighs at most 5 lbs. If you cannot carry 5 lbs over your shoulder, and you aren’t physically handicapped, you might want to consider some aerobic activity.
3. She went into great detail on the various specs and features of a roller laptop bag like it was a $50,000 vehicle. She’s obviously bat-sh** crazy.
4. She might order a 2nd one just in case they run out. I repeat, she might get a 2nd bag just in case. Let that sink in. Yes. She most certainly is bat-sh** crazy.
More importantly than the fact that the typical laptop roller bag girl might be crazy, it's just a very dangerous precident to set if society begins to think it's normal to drag 5 lbs behind us on wheels. When does weight limit shrink further? Are we going to drag our wallets on wheels behind us soon? Our cell phones? Buck up and put your laptop over your shoulder or back. Besides, most of you look like you could burn some more calories anyway.
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