Titles: Are they necessary for a successful relationship?

I have met a lot of different women in my life that have gone through good and bad times, but still believe in love and want a man to fulfill those dark nights when they are in their beds alone. I’ve had many conversations with bitter chicks, blissful chicks, and chicks trying to realistically deal with maybe there aren’t anymore “good” men left in Atlanta. The women are different with different views and still they want one thing: a title. Titles complicate people and relationships as one person is ready to commit to a title and one person isn’t quite there. What are titles though? What weight does it hold being someone’s ‘girlfriend’ or ‘hubby’ or ‘lover’ if the emotions aren’t pure? Are they necessary for successful relationships?

Titles are important to individuals that need structure in their lives. It gives them a definite answer and it leads nothing else to be wondered about because they know that this relationship has potential to grow into something long term. Personally, I am one of those persons who need structure. I want to know that the person I am with has a plan for our future instead of just being someone’s “girlfriend.” I want to be an investment and with casual sex, a few dates, and nothing binding the agreement doesn’t sit well with me. I run my relationships as if a business—it takes work to be successful.

Titles aren’t necessary for individuals who live their life with the motto ‘you only live once’. There is nothing wrong with that philosophy; if two individuals are close friends, have open communication, spend time and money together, and are happy titles do not matter. It’s about the chemistry the two shares around friends and family and when the two are alone. If the situation is functioning well—titles aren’t necessary for successful relationships, but the question then would be can it really be considered a relationship?

I have a friend named Kim. She has been the “main chick” and she’s even been tricked into being the side chick to a guy she really liked. After all of her feelings were used up by the men she truly loved and planned a future with she begin to feel as though maybe relationships work better without a title. This led my girl down a path of unworthy suitors and unnecessary drama that I knew she could avoid. Instead of judging the actions she made I sat back and really wondered what would happen with her juicy dating stories. Then it hit me that relationships are what you make them and titles only give a name to a situation can be just as awful and an untitled relationship. What defines a relationship has nothing to do with what one person is called and what other people think it’s really about how two people actually feel about each other.

Are we titling our relationships to feel secure? Is it not just enough to be in the company of a person that treats you right? I am a structured person and I personally like titles, but I’ve been in a situation where a title didn’t matter and it opened my eyes to what titles can and cannot bring to a pair of strangers. In the end, that person that opened my eyes also opened his and strapped a title to me (but I did find the true meaning)—what’s your title?

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, Atlanta African American Relationships Examiner

Jasmine Jackson is her friends life coach and gives people real advice on love and relationships. She has been in a long term relationships and understands what people truly need when trying to form and keep long term relationships.

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