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Tired mom humor: how to alienate your kids


 
Every once in a while, parents hear themselves use an expression that make one cringe on the inside, but needs to be said out loud nonetheless. It will be the end of a long day, your child has just done something annoying for the thirteenth time in a row, or you just woke up in a bad mood, as parents have a right to do now and then, and there it is:

“I only say this because I love you”. The verbal death sentence to any half-decent argument between parent and child. The end-all, final blow, last word, for which there is no come back.

Of course, once you think about it, there are more ways than one to alienate your kids:

  • “I know you don’t like pistachio ice cream, but it’s all they had left. I don’t have room in the freezer and won’t buy any new flavors until the whole bucket is finished.”
  • “I don’t care if those shoes look dorky, they are on sale.”
  • “No; it’s a school night.”
  • “You will understand this when you are an adult and you have children of your own, which will never happen if you keep this up.”
  • “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

If you have any good ones to add, feel free to leave a comment.

For more on the topic, check out Parents say the darndest things

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Annette van de Kamp is raising her own children while teaching at an elementary school. As a result, she is exposed daily to the strange and surreal things children say and do. Annette's bimonthly columns for the Jewish Press deal with the fact that parenting is a challenge and that nobody's...

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