Tips for transitioning tots from a crib to a big girl/boy bed

Are you at that stage where your toddler seems ike he or she may have outgrown the crib, or you have a new baby on the way and you want to transition out of the crib so there are no hurt feelings once baby arrives?

I asked Conner Herman & Kira Ryan, co-founders of Dream Team Baby, Infant & Toddler Sleep Consultation, for some tips for transitioning from a crib to a big boy/girl bed. They're both parents and have been dealing with this issue at home as well as on the job. Conner’s son, Wyatt, is 2.5 years and still sleeping happily in his crib. Her second son is arriving in March. Kira’s daughter, Emilia, is also 2.5 years old. Emilia recently moved to a “big girl” bed. Here are their thoughts...  

Examiner:  What are three big tips when transitioning a toddler from a crib to a big girl/boy bed?

Conner & Kira: Step one: Determine that your child is ready to move from crib to bed. Step two: Make the transition as painless as possible. Here are a few ways to make the move easier for everyone. 

1.    PREPARE THE ROOM 

• Childproof the room. Make sure electric outlets are covered, bookshelves are secure, and other safety concerns are eliminated.
• Prevent night-time wanderers.  Think positively! Your child may actually stay in his room without the confines of a crib to keep him there. But if the temptation of an open door is too much for your toddler to resist, you may have to install a door gate or childproof doorknob.  It’s a good idea to have these items on hand just in case you need them in the middle of the night.
• Don’t change everything.  Keep the room set-up as familiar. If possible, place your toddler's new bed in the same place his crib used to be.

2.    PREPARE YOUR CHILD

• Give your child a chance to process the move -- before it happens. Books and pretend play are very good way to help your child understand and anticipate this important milestone. One book on the subject we like is called Sophie's Big Bed, by Tina Burke.
• Involve your child. Have your toddler help you pick out his or her new bed and try out the mattresses. At the very least, let him or her choose new sheets, or a special pillow. When it’s time to take the crib out, give them a “job” during the process.
• Stick to the same routine before bedtime.  Keep the pre-bedtime activities as similar as possible once the bed is introduced. If you usually sing two songs, don’t start singing four songs. If you normally read books in your child’s room, continue reading books in your child’s room.
• Consider a special comfort item. You may want to give your child something to rely on if they need support during the night. This could be a special blanket, a stuffed animal, or even a night light.
• Tell your child what to expect.  Before lights out, tell your child calmly what will happen that first night in their bed. He or she will need to stay in their room until morning. If he gets out of bed tell him what will happen (i.e., you will need to put up a gate to keep them safe).

3.    PREPARE YOURSELF

• Make the move to a bed on a night when both parents are home. We suggest a weekend.
• Be a united front. Before the lights go out in your child’s room, agree on a plan about how you will respond to your child if he experiences difficulties. Consistency is critically important to the process. As an added bonus, consistency makes children feel safe.
• Remain calm. Always try to remain neutrally supportive if your child resists. As a rule of thumb, make nighttime interactions as short and as boring as possible.
  

Examiner: Is there a right age to move out of the crib?

Conner & Kira: All children are different. But, generally speaking, three years of age is a good time to move a child to his or her own bed.  Before then, the crib gives most children plenty of space and keeps them safe. If a child is climbing out of a crib, parents can either install a crib tent or transition to a bed. Just remember that graduating from a crib “early” is not always an easy solution. Some children may be physically prepared for life outside a crib, but not emotionally prepared for the responsibility that comes with it. If you suspect your toddler will have a difficult time understanding that they need to stay in their bed all night, a crib tent may be a better option than a bed.

Examiner:  What about a normal age range?

Conner & Kira:  Generally, 2 – 3.5 years.

Examiner: What are some clues parents should look for to know their toddler is ready to move out of the crib?  

Conner & Kira: 

• A child shows prolonged interest in and/or requests for a bed 
• A child is too big to fit comfortably in a crib
• A child is climbing out of a crib consistently and the parents can’t or don’t want to install a crib tent.

Examiner:  What difficulties can parents expect to face during the transition?

Conner & Kira:  Even a child who is very excited to move to a “big bed” may experience some resistance or trepidation when time comes to actually make the move. Change is hard for everyone! Our rule of thumb is that if your toddler is upset and needs help from you, try to be neutrally supportive and not to give up right away. You may find that your beautiful sleeper suddenly takes 45 minutes to fall asleep, or begins sneaking into your bedroom in the middle of the night.  If this happens, quietly and calmly walk him back his bed. You may have to do this over and over again (Kira lost count at 32 times during her daughter’s transition), but if you are calm and consistent in how you respond to him, he will soon get the message that he should stay in his own bed.

Examiner: How long might the transition last?

Conner & Kira: It may only take one day. But, it could also take several weeks.  Children respond differently to change. You child will be more successful if you can be consistent – both in how you respond to him and in your child’s physical sleep environment. Try to stay home for two weeks straight so your child can practice sleeping in his new bed (and following the new rules that come along with life in the big bed).

Examiner: What's the biggest mistake parents make during the transitioning?

Conner & Kira: There are two big mistakes:

1. Doing it prematurely. If you child learns he can climb out of his crib one night, don't rush out and buy a new bed the next day. A child may crawl out once, or even several times over the course of a few nights. However, once the excitement wears off, he may go back to contently staying in his crib again.  
2. Doing it when parents are ready, rather than when a child is ready. If a child is already experiencing a major transition in his/her life, we recommend holding off on the transition from crib to bed. Often parents want to free up a crib with the arrival of a new baby. However, all this change can be overwhelming for young children. A move to a new home, a parent going back to work, or recent potty training would all be reasons to delay the transition to a bed. 

I have to add that some children may be ready to make the move from the crib sooner. They both seemed ready and it worked out well for us. I wanted their association with the crib to be long over by the time the next baby was born, so I moved them each several months before baby arrived. So if your child seems ready, might as well try. Just don't take apart the crib just yet. Make sure your toddler is indeed ready for the big bed and sleeps restfully in it before putting away the crib. And give it several weeks to make sure.