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Couple en flagrante (courtesy of Wikipedia)
We’ve entered a new era. Not everyone is seeking a committed relationship, but it’s still nice to have semi-regular, fun sex. Manners do, however, need to be kept in mind if something more than a one-night stand is to be had.
These tips are geared toward the gentleman caller who goes to a lady's home, but with some thought these pointers can apply to any combination of gender, host, guest, voyeur, or so on.
* Walk in with a gift for your host--a bottle of wine will usually do. If she's in AA, you'll have to be more creative--maybe coffee and cigarettes? Don't assume you and your “skills” are enough. You'll be amazed at how generous she'll be in kind. If you do not utilize the gift with her--which is at her discretion--do not even attempt to take it with you when you leave. Or do, and chances are she'll be as ungenerous with you--by not inviting you back, ever.
* If you consume anything she's offered, you should return the generous gift in kind. Again, you are not enough. Nothing in her home was free, buddy. Think about how much you're saving by not having to do the usual three-dates-then-a-grope dating routine, and repay your host accordingly. This includes beverages--even non-alcoholic ones. And it certainly includes food. Did you have a snack to replenish your strength before going back for more? Bring food AND the host gift the next time you go over to get some action.
* If you're ashamed to be with her, stop. She's not your girlfriend--you don't need to introduce her to Mama--but neither of you should feel debased for the great sex you're having. Chances are, if one of you feels embarrassed to be with the other, your sex isn't all that good anyway. You love the zaftig ladies but don't want your buddies to know? Get over yourself, and don't punish her for your hang-up. Besides, public sex antics are a lot of fun and, you know, in public. You need to be able to take her out every once in a while.
Take these to heart. You WILL get laid more often if you are thoughtful. The series shall continue …
Comments
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