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Tips for a good relationship from one lesbian to another

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With so many relationship advice articles and how-to articles on having a strong relationship, they all start to seem a little abstract. They never seem to really apply to you and don't really give practical, useful advice.

Here is some earnest relationship advice that comes from one lesbian in a relationship to another, taken from both outward observations and personal experience.

You have to be ready, to know yourself enough to know what you need and how to communicate it. She might be intuitive, but she is not a mind reader.

Communicate - but don't just communicate about the bad. Tell her why you love her, tell her what she does to make you smile, tell her how she makes you feel.

You have to WANT to make her happy, to want to do things for her, to make her feel special and safe, to give her everything you can.

You need to be ok with being away from her. You can't get jealous of time she spends with others. Time for yourself is a good thing. You can think about her and miss her and want to be with her all the time, but you should find something to do on your own, even if it is just sitting on the porch reading a good book. It is important to know how to be yourself when you are with her and when you are away from her.

A good relationship comes from give and take, wanting to do everything for her but also thinking of yourself, talking and listening, and most of all you need to give her and your relationship a chance. She isn't going to know exactly how to help with everything right away, but if you give her your time and trust, she will learn.

Make sure she's your girlfriend AND best friend. An emotional connection is just as important as a physical one. Have others you go to, but find a balance between the two. Always tell her about things that happen, even if you've already told other people.

Anything you want from her you should also give to her. Don't EXPECT things. Know that she loves you, trust in her love for you, and if she isn't doing something you want her to, tell her. Expectations can quickly turn to resentment.

Be kind. You might not be right. Tell her that. Don't just let things go because they will almost always inevitably and unintentionally pile up. Don't blindly hold on to being right. What she is feeling is ok, no matter how irrational or unfounded those feelings are.

And when all is said and done, you need to love her. Being with her just because she's a good person or a good girlfriend or just because she likes you isn't enough.

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