The lengths some men have gone to find love is extraordinary. Some call it an act of desperation, others an experiment. I find it all rather amusing. But in Blake Jamieson's case, I actually found it inspiring because his little Tinder experiment turned into so much more, from a viral blog post on Medium to a featured story on AdWeek and now to an ebook called "TinderHacks" with an associated community membership site in the works.
After reading the book, I decided to conduct my own little experiment, but it was no where near the level of Jamieson's or CamMi Pham's. I was really just curious about how many matches I could get if I swiped right 100 percent of the time. After two heavy swipe sessions spaced out by a week, I ended up with a 62 percent match rate and a 29 percent message rate. Only one message was worth responding to; the biggest trouble men seem to have, in my experience, is keeping a conversation going and escalating it from online to an offline first date. Maybe I'm just really hard to woo. I don't know.
Understanding the frustration women have with dating, Jamieson turned all of his experimental research into an actionable ebook men could use to woo more women. In the section of the book where he describes what "TinderHacks" is and isn't, I love that he encourages men to become the real men we women long for.
"TinderHacks is a call-to-arms for boys to become men. Real women want real men who take initiative, are confident enough to make fun of themselves, and aren’t afraid to take chances," he writes. Here are five key takeaways from "TinderHacks" that will help all the fellas step up their dating game on Tinder:
1. First impressions matter. What kind of message are you sending to women with your photos? Stay away from shirtless mirrored selfies and make sure your main photo is of you and only you. I can't stress this point enough. If your default picture includes another woman or your best friend, chances are pretty high that we will think that: a) you're trying too hard to make yourself appear more attractive than you really are, or b) your best friend is much cuter than you and will be greatly disappointed when we realize you're not him. Jamieson recommends mixing up your photos to convey that you're athletic, social, have a good sense of humor and clean up nicely.
2. Create a bio that facilitates conversation. Jamieson recommends writing your bio with a clear objective in mind. If your goal is to get women to message you first so you can avoid the blatant rejection of her ignoring you should you message first, then make it easy for women to start a conversation with you by including an icebreaker question in your bio. Example: Where's your happiest place on earth? I've actually used this one in the past when I was on Match a long time ago. The cliche answer would be Disneyland, but the real goal of the question was to find out where people like to hang out. For me, my happiest place on earth is Barnes & Noble. Some of the answers I got from other people were pretty fun and engaging. Anyone who sent me a message that said "Disneyland!" got ignored.
3. Message her first. I can't stress this point enough. Women like feeling wanted and desired. We'll gladly reciprocate your advances if it means encouraging the things you do that we love and enjoy while discouraging the things we don't. Besides, Patti Stanger is always saying how "the penis does the picking" so let a woman know you picked her by reaching out to her first. Besides, given the fact that so few men are sending the first message, you'll automatically stand out from the lot as a man's man.
4. Make every moment count. Tinder's latest update includes the ability to capture "moments" in your everyday life. Moments is a new feature that helps people get to know each other. Instead of telling people who you are, what you're about and how you spend your free time, now you can capture a moment and show people why you're someone worth getting to know. Jamieson writes that Moments are a great way to rekindle old matches. After interviewing his female friends, he discovered that less than five percent of men are taking advantage of this new feature. Moments are way underutilized which can give men the upper hand by setting themselves apart from all the other men using Tinder. It's also a great way to get a conversation started with someone after she's liked one of your Moments.
5. Get the number. Let's not forget that the goal of meeting people on Tinder is to actually meet them in person. The trick of the trade is moving the conversation off Tinder, but in order for that to happen you'll first need to exchange contact information at some point in time. A conversation on Tinder, or any online dating website or app for that matter, is meaningless if it doesn't lead to a first date. Jamieson dedicates an entire section of his book to teaching men how exactly to turn conversations into dates. The best way to get a girl to give you her number is by giving her your number first. Most of the time, women will reply back with her number because she's operating under the notion that it's the man's job to text her first. You giving her your number is simply a green light that you are, indeed, interested in moving the conversation offline.
For more TinderHacks from Jamieson featuring exact messages that worked for him on Tinder, visit www.TinderHacks.com to download your copy of the book today.