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Tinder Bender

Date collision
Date collision
Google Images, Tinder

The chances of meeting your soul mate on Tinder are pretty slim, but how about going on a blind date with someone and sitting right next to another blind date couple who met on Tinder, also? Well, it's becoming an extremely popular mechanism for meeting complete strangers, but what takes place during this awkward collision is worthy for television and not your everyday encounter.

I'm pretty much squirming on my patio as I wait for my date to pick me up. While some say that having a stranger whom you've never met come pick you up is stupid, I decided to treat this as an old-fashioned guy picks girl up date. Well, I'm a dude as well, but you get the point. He arrives right on time and I get in the car to make our reservation time at a cute spot downtown. Oh, the attraction was immediate and it felt organic after ten minutes of chatter on the way to the restaurant.

The place is packed! Thank god for the reservation and the beautiful hostess who navigated us to our table. As she presented us with our “first date” spot, my date and I both looked at each other as if she was joking. The table was entirely too small and was basically right on top of another couple chugging red wine. I decided since it was so busy to just go with it and enjoy the people watching and getting to know my date.

Five minutes into the date and I can hardly hear what he's saying to me. Not only is the restaurant jam packed, the guy and gal to our right are obnoxiously loud. It's hard to focus on each other and not look at the hot mess next to us. We both kept laughing and making eye contact when the gal said something really vulgar or completely ridiculous. They were on their second bottle of red + each took a shot.

About thirty minutes into the evening, the modelesque gal next to us says, “Are you two on a blind date?” We both looked at each other, chuckled and said, “Yeah.” She literally jumps out of her seat and says, “OMG, us too. We just met on Tinder last night and this is the first time meeting in person!” Again, my date and I both looked at each other amused and totally thought it was cool we were in cahoots with this crazy couple under the same circumstances. We decided to engage and talk to them as the table was so close to us, it was impossible not to talk to them.

After talking about shoes, fashion, sports and the unbelievably weird predicament we were all in, the five foot ten gal slips into sloppy world. I mean this chick is falling down on my crotch, yelling at the waiters in the bar and demanding that we go to Denver and go dancing with her. The poor chump she was on her first date with looked so embarrassed. You could tell he was ready to bolt. After buying us all a round of Cognac, her date took out his American Express card, stood up, shook me and my dates hands and said he had a good time meeting us (looking directly at us, not his date). He enjoyed the conversation and appreciated the funny situation taking place, but looked at her and said goodbye. Ms. Model already whispered to me before that she was not attracted to him at all and that his pictures we're not even close to how he looked in person.

My date and I both looked at each other in shock. This guy really just left this drunk woman with us? Just as we were starting to let loose and talk, we now get to babysit a 40 year old travesty? After minutes of her begging us to go to Denver, she finally got up and gave us both big hugs and split. She took pictures of us and asked for our contact information so she could advertise we met because of Tinder.

It was quite the scene. Bartenders, waiters and patrons alike kept walking by smiling and looking as if they wished they had popcorn and a recliner to watch. While it was an entertaining night and a hell of story to tell one day, it was a slight buzz kill to the incredibly handsome man I was trying to get to know. If you're ever on a blind Tinder date, always steer clear of the heavy traffic when choosing your destination. You wouldn't want to bump into anyone and cause an entire date to crash.

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