Have you ever felt like you’re in a terrible love triangle where he likes you more than you like him, while you like someone else more than they like you, and they like someone else... You get the picture. Or you meet someone who’s married whom you fall for more and more and while he may be getting separated it’s still really, really messy. Or you like your friend but one of you is always seeing someone else at any one time. Timing sometimes is everything.
What do you do when you have a deep, intense crush (like you want to have his babies) with someone who is totally unavailable? Or worse, he really likes you too, but he is otherwise entrapped in a emotional, personal mess and does not have time for you in his life right now? It almost feels worse when they do like you as much as you like them, but the circumstances are all wrong. In these situations it doesn’t help to force things. That usually never helps. And it usually comes out of desperation. And urgency. And fear. Fear of losing the person. But the truth is, if it’s the wrong timing there is really nothing you can do. And it will save you a lot of grief if you can accept that and focus your energies elsewhere.
I have done just that recently and once I got over my initial sadness over the loss and saying goodbye to them in my own head, I realized I was a lot happier if I focused elsewhere on people who really want and can be with me. This doesn’t even need to apply to romantic partners, but also to girl friends as well. Why keep pursuing people that just don’t have time for you? You are way too valuable for that. And don’t spin the whole “well-but-he-just-needs-me-to-wait-and-be-there-for-him-right-now-until-we-can-be-together!” story. You are not his babysitter or personal therapist. Play that game and you risk ending up an emotional mess yourself. We are not nurses. We are young, single, awesome women and get to treat ourselves like such. A treasure, and a gem to be with.
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