As the professional and personal events in Tiger Woods life play through, many couples find themselves communicating about the issue of infidelity, celebrity and otherwise. Using the vicarious safety of public "scandal" can actually provide an opportunity to see life through each other's eyes.
This topic will rarely draw mutual agreement of opinion from both partners, at least not at the same time. Moral disagreement, maybe, but founded from two practical points of view.
Wives may be disheartened and angry to be reminded it is a possibility and would love to be sincerely reassured that such a thing could never happen. Husbands can't honestly deny understanding the temptation to stray. And of course it goes both ways. Statistics abound, so somebody will draw the short straw somewhere, man or woman and we all know it.
Feeling ticked off is just fine, but active listening is the goal to work towards. Refreshing expectations and remembering we are not the same person, every step of the way. If you don't like what you hear, give it the Two-Week Reflection. Postpone further discussion until then, when time will have assisted you in "hearing" the feelings behind the words.
We all want to be happy and given our druthers, we'll often wander down the easiest path to find it. Why we seek happiness in non-constructive ways is a shopping list of personal issues, special, though thoroughly unique to no one.
Acts of infidelity are hopefully sheer pleasure (or what a worthless roll of the dice!) but the truth is the pursuit and management of those stolen comforts are not. There is not a one of us that does not need more and different attention than one person can provide (even with 200% effort, it's simply like asking an elephant to paint the house- not possible nor healthy). There lays the chasm, and we can fill it...
Go ahead and feel angry and guilty, whether you on the green or in the rough. For now we'll leave it here: This is the big stuff and deserving of all the tools we have so far. We've played out of turn and jumped in on the back nine of this topic: Look for more in series... be part of the resolution; comment and email@example.com.