Threesomes

As a culture we are consumed by sex. It is on the radio, television, flyers, and billboards, everywhere. It’s hard to escape it and keep it away from our children. While being exposure to so much sex we are filled with ideologies and fantasies about doing a whole lot of different things and ménage à trois seem to top the list of fantasy. There is an infatuation that most men have with being a part of this sexual trisk. I guess it serves as some type of an ego booster and makes them feel like they have accomplished something significant in being able to pleasure two women simultaneously. Not to suggest by any means that only men bring about this act because there are plenty of woman who participate and initiate this as well. The dynamics of the threesome varies as well depending on what/who you want to do. There is plenty of hype about engaging in the trois and what happens when the lights go off, but what happens when the lights come back on? What happens after the deed is done? Is the instant gratification worth the lasting effects of the consequences your actions may have brought?

This is the number one fantasy of most men and they will beg their girlfriends or wives to participate in one for them. As a woman in love you want to do anything to please your man and to keep him if you fear losing him. From what I have personally found from my own research is that women who do give in and allow themselves to be a part of a threesome with their significant other has low self-esteem, will do anything to keep her man, thinks he will leave her if she doesn’t, or is just a plain old freak. Usually the latter woman and her man have some type of understanding in their relationship already and don’t have a problem with an open relationship, but the women mentioned before are usually in for a rude awakening. Some women reason that he is going to cheat anyway so I might as well be involved. That type of logic makes no sense to me. If he going to cheat you don’t have to be with him, right? I never want to see my man with another woman. Just the thought of him touching another woman pisses me off. If you do decide to move forward with his request, are you ready for the potential consequences?

Some possible outcomes that may arise from engaging in a threesome is that you have opened up the door for your man to sleep with this woman without you. Your threesome has now turned into a twosome that you have no idea about. Why can’t he continue to sleep with her on the side? He already did it in front of you and you gave him permission to do so. Now you have to worry about him bringing home an STD or a baby in addition to cheating. If you were worried about him cheating before, then you pretty much opened the door wide open for him to do so. I don’t think it curbed his appetite for new va-jay-jay.

Or how about he thinks you are a super freak and your threesome is the gateway to even freakier things. You started off smoking weed, now you are on your way to crack. You’ve tested the waters and he knows that you may be open to all kinds of things. He may talk you into having sex with his boys or other women while he watches. Whatever freaky situation he can come up with to put you in you are inclined to participate. After all you will do anything to keep him right?

If you as a woman decide to partake in a threesome, be the guest star. Don’t bring someone else into your home to tear it up and leave you to clean up the mess. This way you are not emotionally attached and your relationship is still intact. Men can separate love and sex anyway so I have no advice for you. You don’t need it anyway. Just strap up. As adults we are free to make our own choices and do whatever it is we want to do. Our moral gauge varies and is unique from person to person. What you find to be ok to do may not be ok for the next person. I’m not here to judge, only to make you think. Don’t just live in the moment. Think about what happens after the moment passes. Will he still respect you in the morning? Most importantly will you still respect yourself? Is this the type of relationship you want to have and you’re ok with it? When it’s all said and done, did you get what you wanted out of it? Some can handle it, some can’t. Know yourself and what you are comfortable with.

Here is my theory on threesomes: Never do one with someone you are in a serious committed relationship with and you are in love with. There is no room for a third party in your marriage or long term serious relationship. The only third party that should be involved in all aspects of your relationship is God and He should be at the head of it. Love, life, and relationships are hard enough to deal with if you want to be successful at it. To bring anything extra into your life just seems like a waste of time and energy. I’m not condoning or condemning anyone for their choices. To each, is own. As for me, I live vicariously through others and see what their consequences turn out to be. Do what you do and tell me about it.

I could be wrong, please tell me if I am. I would love to hear about any committed non-swinger relationships that survived a threesome and turned out successful.