Growing up I never went to my father for advice about boys. This was probably because he said I wasn’t allowed to date until I was thirty…but anyway, now that I’m a young woman, I’ll willingly ask for my father’s opinion. Yet now, I often wonder why I didn’t start asking my father for advice a long time ago.
It was recently brought to my attention that the best people to go to for advice about men are the men already in your life. The men in your life could be your grandfather, dad, uncle, cousin, brother or friend. These men care about you, so they are going to tell you the truth, even if the truth hurts. They aren’t going to sugarcoat reality. We, as women, sometimes listen to the lies from men we want to care about us, rather than the truth from the men that already do care about us.
Therefore, I bring you three pieces of advice from the men in my life that care about me:
- You can’t change a man’s mind once it’s made up. It’s just never going to happen. Save your sanity and move on. You will be wasting your time.
- If you think you’re dating someone and you’re not spending Friday or Saturday night with him, you’re not dating him…. because they are dating someone else (or possibly married). You might be thinking, how could this happen? Well, first of all, if you go to your girlfriends for advice, they aren’t going to make you feel like crap. They might say “Oh, he is hanging out with his mom tonight? How sweet!” Where a man would say “It’s Saturday night at 9:30, he’s not hanging out with his 50+ year old mother.” We like to think the male interest in our lives wouldn’t lie to us…but unfortunately they do. They aren’t going to tell a woman that they are interested in that they are spending the night with another woman. Why? Well, because they don’t want to risk messing up their chance with you...which would probably happen, if they told you the truth.
- If a man needs to date another woman to make sure you’re “the one,” you’re not "the one" (sorry). The other woman has a better chance than you do. If you were “the one,” he wouldn’t need to think twice about being with you.
This is reality. The movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009), confirms this many times. My personal favorite quote from the movie is when Alex says to Gigi “If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.” Most men like to keep their options open. If they aren’t spending time with you, if they aren’t dating you, they may like you, but not as much as they like the other woman (or man) in their life. There is always an explanation for their behavior. The best advice you will get about men is from a man in your life that you can count on. They will make you feel better, and the truth they share will set you free.