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Thoughtful thief mops floors, takes out trash before stealing headphones

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In an effort to rehabilitate the misunderstood image of thieves everywhere, a very cool burglar broke into a woman’s Athens, Ga. home last week and thoughtfully cleaned her house up for her, all for the low cost of a pair of pink Beats headphones.

According to Fox 5 News in Atlanta, a woman reported to police last week that her home was burglarized by a male acquaintance, who took a pair of Beats headphones valued at $85 dollars. But because this thief is a person of character and not merely the type of cowardly scumbag who slips into someone’s house through a screen window and callously takes items they’ve worked hard for, the man also mopped the kitchen floor, took out the trash, and even cleaned the cat’s litter box. You know, neighborly stuff.

The woman -- who was not identified likely due to her embarrassment about the disheveled state of her home -- told police that the really nice guy accused of taking her stuff had previously banged on her window and asked to come inside, presumably to help out with the chores the woman was obviously neglecting. Like her own cleaning habits, she described his behavior as “very erratic and unpredictable” and told Fox 5 that she alerted the police because the man has a “history of breaking into homes,” though whether or not he generously tidied up those houses as well remains unclear.

What is clear, however, is that this man is an everyday hero who is single-handedly fighting against the unfair reputation of burglars as conscience-deprived cravens. Sadly, the police were not able to obtain fingerprints of the suspect in order to issue him a commendation, perhaps because the man, like all true altruists, prefers to perform his charity anonymously.

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