Several years ago, while I was still living in Pittsburgh PA, one of my martial arts students gave me a book to read. He inscribed a very touching message in the book as well as dedicated it to me, his teacher. He was a young man from Argentina if I recall correctly whose father was a Theosophist. He found me to be very similar to his dad in that we believed and practiced many similar things and that was one reason he decided to give me the book, “Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” by Richard Bach.
This became a favorite of mine for many reasons and has been read and referenced repeatedly over the years as well as given to others as gifts and recommendations. I mention this because one of my favorite quotes comes from this book, “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
Today I want to talk friendship and I reference the family quote because to me friends and family are interchangeable.
Let’s begin with a few questions, shall we?
How do you define friend, I mean what determines if you call a person friend?
How are friends different from acquaintances or associates?
Do you consider yourself a “good” friend?
Do you have some friends that you trust more than other friends? If so, why?
What are some of the traits, characteristics, or qualifications a person needs to have for you to accept them as a friend?
Are there some things, infractions that you cannot forgive a friend for? If yes, things such as what?
Do you agree with the below quote also by Richard Bach which comments on a friend’s depth of knowledge of you?
“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.”
Who are your five closest friends? What places them in that circle? There is a Jim Rohn quote which says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Do you agree?
If so, what traits or qualities of those five friends have you adopted as your own?
Proverbs 13:20 says, “Keep company with the wise and you will become wise. If you make friends with stupid people, you will be ruined.”
Puts it in perspective huh? (smile)
I wanted to talk about this mainly because I often hear and talk to clients, students, and even overhear people conversing on the metro or in a restaurant about how a “friend” betrayed them, how they knew this person wasn't to be trusted, or how they married someone without being friends or getting to know the person and I believe it is time for us to elevate our “expectations.”
It is time for us to demand more of those we associate with. Now I am not advocating some kind of Hitler like control of other people; rather I am suggesting that as people who have self worth we associate with those who respect us. If we associate with people who demean, devalue, abuse, ridicule, and condemn us, what does that say about what we think and feel about ourselves?
As metaphysicians, mystics, and lightworkers, who know who and what we are, it is time to expect those in our inner circle of friends and family to treat us as we treat them, with love, compassion, respect, and honor.
“The one that has friends must show themselves to BE a friend. (Proverbs 13:24).” [emphasis mine]
As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Likewise, if we want to be surrounded with like-minded individuals who support, encourage, inspire, and challenge us to evolve, then we must intend to be that very thing for them.
So if you are not already doing so, begin today to reevaluate what it means to be a friend. Listen to this Dionne Warwick tune and meditate on the concept of “Friendship.”
Sending love, light, and friendship your way!