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This one's for the (single) girls

I’m always surprised (and sometimes a little horrified) at some of the comments I get on my Twitter page, mostly from men, mostly asking me: “If you know so much, why are you still single?” It doesn’t always come in the form of a question. Sometimes it comes more in the form of an accusatory comment: “THAT’S why you’re still single!” or, “You must be (insert derogatory insult here) – and THAT’S why you don’t have a man,” or “If you’re still single, what right do you have to give anyone advice?” Comments like that always A) Leave me a bit baffled that in the year 2010, some people out there still can’t fathom that a woman might possibly (perish the thought!) be single by CHOICE, and B) Make me snicker a little at the suggestion that a woman is thought to have a significant lack of intelligence simply because she lacks a significant other. I suppose, according to that logic, the following esteemed bachelorettes had or have nothing of significance to offer to mankind, due to the lack of a ring on their left hand: Susan B. Anthony, Joan of Arc, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, the Bronte sisters, Helen Keller, Coco Chanel, and Oprah Winfrey. Oh, and scratch incredibly beautiful and accomplished divorcees like Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, and Halle Barry off that list, too, since they don’t currently “have a man.” Since when did our relationship status become symbolic of our status in life? Since when did it take “putting a ring on it” to give a woman value and worth? And since when did “single” become synonymous with “desperate”? In the post-modern, post-Sex & the City, post-Spice Girls world we live in, hasn’t the notion of “Girl Power” caught on yet? It seems that although women have had the right to vote for decades now, they still don’t have the right to vote for how they’re going to spend their own lives.

So, as the fierce and fabulous Martina McBride would say: “This one’s for the girls.”

This one’s for the girls who believe in love, but also believe in themselves.

The ones that have looked settling in the eye and walked away.

The ones who know their worth better than to accept a life less than the one they deserve.

The girls who happen to prefer registering for pole-dancing aerobics to registering for china.

The girls who choose margarita parties over Tupperware parties.

The girls who know they don’t need a ring to sing…or a mate to be great.

The girls who know that ME has to come before WE.

The ones who aren’t afraid to be late bloomers.

The ones who like owning their own schedules, their own weekends, their own independence.

The ones who boldly chart their own path…even if it doesn’t include a white picket fence.

The ones who hope for romance but with or without it, crank up the music and DANCE.

The ones who refuse to be grounded by the unaccompanied journey – but realize that those who fly solo often have the strongest wings.

The ones who know it takes guts and heart and courage to walk a mile in a single woman’s shoes – and sometimes a fabulous pedicure.

The girls who don’t wonder why they’re single – but wander while they’re single.

The girls who don’t allow their joy to depart simply because love hasn’t yet arrived.

This one’s for the girls who know that: Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” ~Sarah Jessica Parker

At the end of the day, next time you check the box “S” for single, remember this: No longer is “S” a scarlet letter to be ashamed of, but a mark of your true Superwoman status. Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out. Whether or not you have someone in the passenger seat, you are still the driver of your own life and can take whatever road you choose. So the next time you hit a speed bump otherwise known as the age-old question “Why are you still single?” look ‘em in the eye and say: “Because I’m too fabulous to settle.”

 

Comments

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Thank you! I've been saying this for years and bless your heart for putting out there. WE ROCK!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    AWESOME! It's about time people started ''getting it''

  • Lissette a.k.a @prsweetnsexy 4 years ago

    I WOULD SAY "AMEN"! BUT ALADY!! LOL U ARE SO RIGHT! I 100% AGREE! THIS IS AN AMAZING ARTICLE N IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS WORLD WHO THINKS THE SAME WAY I DO ;)

  • Nathalie Vernimmen 4 years ago

    You hit the nail on the head so many times in this article i've lost count! Awesomeness.

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    <3 it

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    I love this so much. Just recently a man I barely knew said to me, "You're 36 and have never been married? You must be a real pain in the ass!" (Meanwhile, he was older than me and had never been married, but I guess in his mind, that's "ok" if you're a man.) It hurts that so many people stereotype me and make assumptions about me because of the combination of my age, gender and marital status ... but the I read something like this and it makes it all better. Thank you!!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    I absolutely love this!!!! I'm single & I'm loving it!!! Life is great!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    ♥ the article. Your writing always makes me feel empowered. Keep'em coming!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Powerful. . .

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    love it! women power rule!

  • Jackie Bavaro 4 years ago

    Just love this post! You always have great advice and inspiring insight. I love reading your blog! Can't wait to see what you post next :)

  • Naomi Castillo 4 years ago

    Wow loved this article! So very insipiring to know were not the only ones out there!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Couldn't have said it any better!! Hallelujah!!!

  • Bhawna 4 years ago

    Beautifully written article..... and i agree to it in toto and believes the same.....

  • Giulia 4 years ago

    niiiiice!!!

  • Mitchie0513 4 years ago

    Damn I love this! This is so amazing.. I am actually listening to Martina's song now.. and yeah, "We're too fabulous to settle.." ; )

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    i really do agree that there's a huge difference with a single lady and a desperate lady!

  • Acamea Deadwiler 4 years ago

    Word.

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    indeed! two thumbs up for this! but, still... half of me is still hoping that someday i will meet my THE ONE..

    very inspiring!

  • yuna 4 years ago

    I like this "The girls who choose margarita parties over Tupperware parties."

    this is so real!

  • kristin m. 4 years ago

    Thank you for this!!!

  • Perfectly Lonely 4 years ago

    Inspirational as usual...but I didn't expect anything less!

  • moxie17 4 years ago

    Right on sister! I love it!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Amazing and inspirational. Couldn't have been any better.

  • Christian Logan 4 years ago

    I would like the mention that another thing men say when we mention these things 's 'So THAT's why you're still single. Women like you who are too independent can never get a man.' And why they say it is because sometime you say no and refuse to have things his way.

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    This is truly amazing, insightful, and most of all necessary! Thanks.

  • Jazsmine Duncan 4 years ago

    Thanks Mandy very well spoken and broken down! Shake those haters off! I love your tweets!

  • Monica German 4 years ago

    I love your blog and I am recommending you as part of BlogDay 2010! Check out my blog if you'd like!
    http://monicagerman.wordpress.com/

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Thanks so much for your inspirational and motivational article. Really inspires me a lot. You're a great person. Dont listen to those people who is trying to bring you down. I do wishes you more love and happiness from people around you! God Bless you always!

  • Nila 4 years ago

    Mandy u rock!! I was broke up with destructive man and still chasing his shadow coz I'm afraid no one want me as me but him... But now I want to say stop to myself... I don't need relationship just to make me feel content... Specially for someone who put me as in case girl... No worries right!!

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    Thank-you so much for giving single women like me the confidence to stay single for a while and to actually choose to spend my time enjoying myself and my freedom. You are a god-send!

  • Anonymous 3 years ago

    I super like this!! On this whole thing though, i find it easier to pretend that I'm the sad one cuz I'm single, especially when talking to my married friends.. I love them. and I can handle them thinking that of me.. I know the whole deal anyway.. And i just dont wanna offend them.. Cuz when I said "hey im not desperate to find a man just yet", one of my friend took it differently, and thought i was referring her being desperate and settling..

  • Anonymous 3 years ago

    really true and amazing article......i like it so much......Although i found my love.....but still feeling that i should me independent.....without any boundaries.......lovely article......many thumbs up for every single, happy and independent lady...................cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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