Barry: God, I can't wait to meet my second wife. I hope she likes me better than this one.
Debbie: Ah, I feel bad. I love them.
Debbie: Don't fart in the bed.
Debbie: Have you ever thought about killing me?
Debbie: I do not want to investigate your anus.
Debbie: I don't want to make this about a fight.
Debbie: I'm not going through menopause.
Debbie: It looks passionate to me.
Debbie: ...looks like you put your Justin Bieber wig on backwards...
Debbie: No stressing over tiny things.
Debbie: Okay, no more holding on to resentments. We have to just let that go.
Debbie: Since I had kids, my boobs are just gone. They didn't even say, "Goodbye," you know? They just left.
Debbie: So, let's just choose to be happy.
Debbie: The happiest period in peoples lives is from age 40 to 60. So, this is it. We're in it, right now. It's true.
Debbie: We have everything we need right now, to be completely happy.
Debbie: We need to work on our anger.
Debbie: Well, I don't do that. So, I'll continue not to do that.
Debbie: We're going to blink and be 90.
Desi: By the time I'm 40, these are going to go National Geographic on me.
Jason: What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The smell.
Larry: How do you call ebay?!
Melissa: ...and I'm glad your husband died...
Pete: I started a record label because I could not get a job...
Pete: I've been flushing as I go.
Pete: I have a life. I have a family.
Pete: I have everything to lose.
Debbie: It's a hemorrhoid.
Pete: Thank you. Now, erase that from your memory.
Desi: Do you wanna touch 'em?
Debbie: Really?
Desi: Touch 'em.
Debbie: Okay.
Pete: You know what? I won't murder you.
Debbie: Ahhh. I love you.
Pete: I love you too.
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