“Making inferences is a skill with which students often need much practice.” So begins the syntactically self-conscious introduction to a series of Common Core-related educational materials at a site called eReadingWorksheets.com.
The worksheets and the site were created by Donald Morton, who — judging from the photograph accompanying the bio under “About” — is a cat. He is also, he informs the visitor, “a prolific online reading, language arts, and teaching enthusiast. Holding a B.A. in English from Northern Illinois University, and as a masters of arts candidate at Northeastern Illinois University, Mr. Morton has been immersed in the higher study of the reading and language arts for the last decade.”
Somewhere in the course of his immersion in the higher study of the reading and language arts, Morton cultivated the bizarre notion that topics like infidelity and adultery are suitable for reading passages designed for elementary schools students. The story below is a sample of his handiwork:
Ruby sat on the bed she shared with her husband holding a hairclip. There was something mysterious and powerful about the cheaply manufactured neon clip that she was fondling in her newly suspicious palms. She didn’t recognize the hairclip. It was too big to be their daughter’s, and Ruby was sure that it wasn’t hers. She hadn’t had friends over in weeks but here was this hairclip, little and green with a few long black hair strands caught in it. Ruby ran her fingers through her own blonde hair. She had just been vacuuming when she noticed this small, bright green object under the bed. Now their life would never be the same. She would wait here until Mike returned home.
According to the website wafflesatnoon.com, the story originally appeared in Inferences Worksheet 1 on this page of Morton’s site. A photocopy of the printed page, marked up by a distraught parent, appears here, with the handwritten annotation “Inappropriate!! I’m not explaining to an 8 year old!”
Morton has since reluctantly swapped the passage out for the one shown here.
The introduction to the worksheet at eReadingWorksheets.com states, “I have revised this worksheet to make it friendlier for all readers.”
- Missouri teacher testifies she was bullied, intimidated for opposing Common Core
- Common Core math: So hard to comprehed a PhD can’t hack it
- Common Core textbook rewrites Second Amendment
- Common Core-approved book for 3rd graders presents messianic view of Obama … literally
- New Obama bio required for 4th-graders has some (racist) parents upset
- MA halts Common Core implementation
- Obama administration slams ‘white suburban moms’ over Common Core
- School district apologizes for indoctrination video pledging allegiance to Obama
- Boston school recites Muslim poem instead of Pledge of Allegiance on anniversary of 9/11
- HS principal orders students to forgo Pledge of Allegiance, citing shutdown
- Antidotes to the Obama reading of the Gettysburg Address
- One nation under Obama?
- Common Core lessons blasted for sneaking politics into elementary classrooms
- Common Core: ‘Educating’ 4th-graders about ‘white privilege’
- Common Core’s latest: Teach 2nd-graders to salute Big Labor and Cesar Chavez
- Public school teaches that conservatism ‘restricts personal freedoms’
- School gives children opportunity to explore other religions (and they better take it or else!)
- How much porn should high school students read? Common Core Curriculum answers