I was in the bathroom at the Landmark Cinema in Fenway the other day when a tearful woman walked in. I asked her what was wrong and she just said, "I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me and somehow I feel like it's my fault!" We then swapped stories and talked (I missed about half of the movie) and finally she decided to go home and take a nap. But her statement - "I feel like it's my fault!" - kept ringing in my ears.
Obviously it's not her fault. And I feel like I need to say something to all you potential cheaters out there:
Everyone knows that there is no excuse for cheating; you either try to fix the relationship if you harbor thoughts of infidelity, or you leave the relationship and then date someone else. It’s so easy. Yet people stray and then force their partner into a make-or-break decision should the cheating party get caught or admit their mistake. And whether or not the loyal partner decides to leave the relationship, the loyal partner is suddenly confronted with feelings of doubt, self-esteem issues, feelings of betrayal and trust issues that may have never existed before.
Good job cheater!!
Basically, if you cheat on your partner, you are destroying much more than your relationship. You are damaging that person’s ego, causing them to re-think all of their choices (in the past and the future) and making it downright impossible to openly trust future romantic partners. When you cheat on your partner, you are effectively – and probably mindlessly – destroying your partner’s spirit.
If you care about the person you’re with at all, please think about the long-term consequences of cheating before you stray. And if you decide that you really do need to seek sex outside of your relationship, then do the smart thing and BREAK UP with your boyfriend/girlfriend BEFORE you cheat.
And if you’ve been cheated on and are having trouble figuring out what to do next, visit BrokenHeartedGirl.com to talk about it!