What you think you know about men and sex may not be the whole truth. It is commonly believed that men want it all of the time (think morning, noon, and night!) and even if it is not the absolute best they have ever have, they still think of it as being good. This may not be the case. Some of the notions that society has for so long taken as cold hard reality may be sexual myths that have not been unmasked.
According to Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of the book Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex, women may be more in the dark about how men feel about sex than they realize. Morgentaler has been the director of Men’s Health Boston and an associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School for many years. He has been helping men to improve their sex lives for over two decades. In his 25 years in practice, he has learned some surprising and interesting things from his patients about sex.
It may be a shocker for many women to hear this, but there are men who have and do fake orgasms. They do it for the same reasons that women do- because they don’t want to disappoint their partners or because they are embarrassed because they are unable to experience climax. It also possible that they are under a great deal of stress, have consumed too much alcohol, or just know that it is not going to happen. The reasons are generally unselfish but it is not a healthy habit to fall into.
Not Always Evidence of Orgasm
It is easy to tell if a man has had an orgasm because the evidence is there to see. Right? You might assume so but not necessarily. According to Morgentaler, it is possible in some instances for a man to have an orgasm but not to ejaculate. This most commonly is seen in men who have diabetes and other types of medical conditions. It also happens with those who practice tantric sex.
Erection Problems in Younger Males
Sexual problems are not just the bane of existence for older gentlemen. Males of all ages can develop sexual conditions that can affect their libidos and their ability to perform. While impotency is one of the more common sexual complaints among men, premature ejaculation affects plenty of men as well (an estimated 20 percent report problems in this area).
Always Raring to Go
The idea that men are always in the mood for bedroom fun is not as true as you may have always believed. They may be in the mood more often at age 18 or 20 than they are as they get older and life responsibilities take over. Men sometimes choose to pass on amorous activities with their partners for the same reasons that women do- not feeling well, too tired, or too consumed with thoughts of life problems.
Focused on Partner’s Pleasure
Men are sometimes unfairly labeled as being selfish lovers who want to receive more than give to their partners. From what Morgentaler has learned over the years from his discussions with men, the opposite is the truth. Just as women want to please their partners in bed, so do the vast majority of men. Once a man has developed affection for a woman, his focus shifts from his own pleasure and satisfaction to hers. He wants to be her sexual provider and make her feel as good as possible.
Sensitive About Performance
Women often have body issues while men have performance issues. What women do not always realize is that men can be very sensitive about how well they perform in the sack. Morgentaler has talked with men about their sexual dysfunctions and has discovered that the root of many of the problems can be traced back to an incident from the past that was particularly devastating to their sexual self-esteem. It could be a bad experience or a negative comment that was made about their manhood or their lovemaking techniques. It is important that women be sensitive to this. If your partner does anything for you in the sexual arena that pleases you, don’t keep it to yourself- tell him!
Stronger Sex Drives in Women
Contrary to popular belief, a man’s appetite for sex is not always stronger than a woman’s. According to Morgentaler, in today’s world women are more liberated and have an easier time asking for what they want in bed. This is a good thing for females but it can make some males feel like there is something wrong with them if their women want sex more often than they do.
Sometimes couples have sex drives that are not well matched. It happens and is not cause for alarm. If the relationship is a close-knit one though, there are ways of working around this. The truth of the matter is that some women have stronger appetites for sex than men. This does not mean that there is anything wrong with the man. Everyone’s libido is different and can fluctuate throughout their lives. What matters is that both people are respectful of the other person’s desires and drive.