Turning 30 years old is the beginning of the end for those crying the blues but for the rest of you, this is just the beginning of a new chapter in your life. You have accomplished some goals, seen the revelation of true colors, survived some worst case scenarios, and have made it in an official “age club”, but after ten years of saying twenty-something, thirty can take some getting used to. Now is the time to reflect on where you have been, where you want to be, and how you intend on getting there. Anybody can turn 30, even say they are 30, but to be 30, here are six things that you should have learned by the time you hit that milestone.
1. Let people be who they are.
There are many different kinds of people in the world ranging from goofy and kind to bitter and hateful, you just have to let them be themselves, if they want to change they will if they don't they won't, but allowing yourself to get bent out of shape because of it is a waste of your time. No one owes you anything, no hello, no closure, not even the money they borrowed. You can’t make people do what you want them to do or be who you want them to be. If you think about it we control very little in our daily lives, what we eat, the way we do our hair and the outfit we put on, that’s about the extent of it. The last thing we can control is other people, their emotions, and their perspective. Instead, channel your energy to more productive things that benefit you because disliking and hating people takes too much energy and love out of you, focus on the positive, focus on yourself and your life.
2. No need for explanations.
Explanations are intended for those who don’t know you or have not taken the time to get to know you. This is a great lesson to learn but also very challenging, that is if you care about what others think that they know about you. People react off of their emotions and that’s natural but you shouldn't feel like you must redeem yourself at the mercy of those who have never spoken ten words to you just to prove them wrong or to clear up false accusations, high school is over. People are going to believe what they want to believe no matter what proof they don’t have, the unreliable sources it comes from, or how many times your actions have spoken. The key is to know when the explanation is not needed which is determined by the role that you give the people in your life and more times than not, washing your hands of a situation is explanation enough.
3. Don’t throw mud.
People who throw mud lose ground and with your new “age club” membership the last thing you want to do is lose any of the ground you just gained. People are going to be people and you will run across those who are miserable and unhappy with their own lives for any number of reasons or no reason at all. You don’t have to point it out or make a public scene about it because it only makes you look bad. Instead of throwing mud throw seeds, be fruitful, and stay encouraged because mud rinses off and dries up while good seeds take root and grow into something good.
4. Confidence vs. Arrogance
There is a fine line between being confident and being arrogant called respect. A confident person can debate without insult, doesn't mind being wrong, and has no problem giving credit where it is due. You have to move with a little grace on this one because even if you have learned the difference, there are many who still need to be schooled. A person with confidence knows their actions are powerful enough that they can walk the walk confidently without resorting to talking the talk. Arrogance will kill a lot of opportunities and with this new beginning you want to avoid making this mistake. Think about it, if you are as pretty, attractive, smart, great, and as wonderful as you think or say you are, then you won't have to tell people because people are going to recognize it and in most cases tell you.
5. Let people have their feelings.
The key word here is “their” and by the time we turn 30 we should learn to let others have what belongs to them. When someone says you hurt their feelings you can't say "your feelings aren't hurt". Different things affect different people in different ways; it’s no big deal to you but it means the world to someone else and you shouldn't try to take those feelings from them, it makes you look inconsiderate, disrespectful, and not ready to be 30. You can’t keep people from being happy or hurt no matter your intentions and the only thing you can do is apologize. People can feel however they want to feel about any situation whether you agree with it or not but if you attempt to take someone’s feelings from them you look bad and this puts a person on the defense.
6. Facts only.
Sticking to the facts is the hardest lesson to learn because it’s easier and faster to listen to what someone tells you, especially when it sounds good, than to research and observe the facts yourself or stomach up the courage to get the facts straight from the horse’s mouth. Some won’t want to hear the facts and others won’t like the facts they hear but you can’t go through life making decisions off of the way you feel without any facts because you won’t be taken seriously and you will miss out on building some beneficial relationships both professional and personal. Stick to the facts and 30 will look so good on you the “age club” will give you a V.I.P pass.