By Dr. Joe Rubino
Does this ever describe you?
The mere possibility of failing at an endeavor is so frightening that you are reluctant to take on a challenge just so that you head off any chance of failing.
This happens when you become so attached to an outcome that you have no room to maneuver successfully in order to succeed.
If you have no room to fail, you also have no room to succeed.
Remember, failure is an interpretation (and a disempowering one at that)—not a fact.
Do you know who was the greatest strike out king of all time in baseball ?
Yes, the Babe struck out more times than anyone else.
He also was the number one home run king as well.
Failure or tremendous success?
It all depends on where you focus and what your interpretation is.
The same was true of inventor Thomas Edison. Before he invented the electric light bulb he “failed” at his 400 plus prior attempts.
When asked about all of these apparent failures, Edison responded that they were not failures at all. In fact, he had successfully discovered more than 400 ways that were not the answer to generating indoor lighting.
As human beings, we have a tendency to look for the flaw in what we do. We find countless ways to invalidate ourselves. Instead of focusing on our accomplishments, we zoom in on our short comings. This inability to be with failing actually drives our actions. If we can not experience set backs, we do not allow ourselves the room to experiment beyond the limits of our knowledge.
When you give yourself the room to experience new challenges, learn from these experiences, and grow from the wisdom they provide, you will realize that you are to be acknowledged just for putting out the effort. Your courage to attempt the unknown will create countless opportunities for discoveries into realms previously unknown.
To empower yourself to venture into areas unknown, declare yourself to be a novice in these areas. By putting yourself in research to explore the unknown without an attachment to a result, you can create the space to allow for potential success as well as new experiences to show up.
Another way to approach a possible concern about failing at your goals is to take your focus off of the result. When we are obsessed with achieving a desired result which is eluding us, we can become so frustrated by our lack of results that we become even less effective in our actions designed to achieve them. This translates into suffering. After all, suffering is having something you don’t want or wanting something you don’t have.
You can still be committed to the result – but not attached to it.
Place your attention instead on the actions required to obtain your intended result. By concentrating on your game plan, you can constantly evaluate your progress, see what’s working and what’s missing and alter your actions to better evaluate what you need to put into place to come in on target.
One last thought about failure. As humans, because of lacking self-esteem we tend to be scared to death to fail at what we do.
If this describes you, lighten up. Don’t take failure too seriously. So what if you fail. Go ahead and play full out. If you create a bunch of failures, embrace them. Don’t run from failure. Once you get that it’s all right to fail, you can become empowered by creating so much failure that it will become an unimportant condition. Give yourself the room to play full out -- and fail if necessary. But stop giving power to those thoughts which limit who you are and what you do. And in so doing, create the room for you to do what it takes to succeed . In the end, your satisfaction will come from being complete with doing your very best, free from your fear of failing—no matter what the outcome.
1) Where have you not attempted something for fear of failing at it?
2) How has thoughts of failing impacted your business?
3) Create an empowering interpretation to take the place of the disempowering one that you may fail so that it will keep you motivated and in the game.
4) Design a detailed action plan to achieve an objective that you have been reluctant to take on.
Dr. Joe Rubino is the author of “The Self-Esteem Book” and one of the world’s foremost experts on self-esteem elevation for adults and children. He is an acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success & life-optimization coach & best-selling author of 12 books in 24 languages. To learn more about his life-impacting coaching, and courses and receive free gifts, visit www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com and http://www.SelfEsteemSystem.com