In the modern world, the word ‘whore’ has many negative connotations attached to it. It can mean anything from a ‘loose woman’ who shares herself sexually without discrimination to a prostitute who charges for her services. There are times when it is even used in a completely incorrect manner to describe a woman who has had very limited sexual relations that are frowned upon by an extremely conservative family or community. Let's just say it; people can't have it both ways! However, whatever way it is said, it still brings to the forefront the way women are now, as in the past, treated as a second-class citizen held to a different standard than men.
Where men can flout their sexual conquests, whether they be few or many, and be hailed as conquerors and great lovers; women who do the same are shamed and shunned as dirty, whorish, unworthy, and undeserving of respect. The double standard is alive a well in the world. How else can we explain the success of reality shows like the Showtime series, Gigolos, that documents the daily lives of five male escorts? People love that show, and are fans of the guys (myself included). Now imagine the popularity of such a show featuring female escorts and everyone thinking it starts to twitch. Right way, instead of being comfortable with the idea, sudden judgement rushes to the fore, and the word 'whore' breaks land-speed records coming out of everyone's mouths. Yet the origins of the very definition of ‘whore’ will leave you questioning exactly what that means, who created the meaning behind the vernacular and whether or not every woman, by that definition, could be termed as a whore, leaving the word meaningless.
The etymology of the term ‘whore’ comes from the Latin ‘prostituta’. Pro means ‘up front’, and ‘situere’ meaning to offer up for sale. Together, they mean to put forward for sale or offer up for sale up front. In Roman times, women were coined as prostitutas if they failed to wear a cover over their faces when out in public. It was common practice that women of worth and good family would cover their faces while the sex workers left off this bit of cloth to expose their wares to the public, much like putting a product for sale on display. We see this practice today in Muslim countries where women must wear coverings from head to toe so as not to ‘incense’ the men around them and excite them to lustful thoughts. God or Allah forbid that a man should lose control of himself at the sight of a woman’s face! In such countries, and such times, the men are not held responsible for this; but instead, blame the women for causing the temptation. I call BS on that!
Back to the whore mythology. The gist of it is that whores are thought to be women who provide sex in exchange for money. In some cases this is true, but let’s looks at this exchange thing.
Money can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Money can mean cold, hard cash or anything of value; i.e. jewelry, clothing, a car or two, plastic surgery paid for, to a home. The only real difference between what society shuns and what it accepts is the time commitment of the service. Many would argue that marriage is a form of prostitution, exchange of the use of a woman’s body for sex and procreation; her services as a cook, maid, mother, partner, all for what is generally expected for a lifetime of financial security. Now, before everyone gets their panties in a twist, try and remember that not all marriages are the products of couplings chosen in western society by two people in love. Many marriages around the world are still arranged by families looking to profit by the relation. So saying, it could be seen that the daughter is sold into a legalized form of prostitution by her own family to a man she does not choose for herself.
Illegal prostitutes are all about the short term arrangement; some form of sexual contact in exchange for an agreed upon sum of money. When the act is concluded, so is the relationship.
As for those women who enjoy short-term sex who wouldn’t dream of charging for it, they, too, are categorized under the same negative umbrella of meaning. It is for these women that, in all fairness to equality, we must remove from under the dark cloud of censure. You may be saying, “but women aren’t equal to men!” I agree. Women aren’t equal to men. It’s like apples and oranges. Actually, women are better. Why? Because women are the very vessels who bring life forth into this world. Until men can spit out a baby from their penis, they will always be lacking that certain “je ne ce quoi”. Sorry, boys.
As for societal views on ‘whores’, let’s also remember that there were very famous courtesans, concubines, mistresses (a very high-class version Mrs. Gingrich), and even Geishas (who some would argue did not trade their bodies for sex, but their time, wit, and talent for money, yet they sold their virginity to the highest bidder to become elevated amongst their own kind) who shaped history through their subtle influence over the men with whom they consorted.
Mary Magdalene was labeled the first prostitute in the Bible although there is no real evidence that she sold her body. In fact, the Bible is littered with sex slaves and concubines, all part of the households of, and used often by, famous men of the good book. Mary became known as one of the three Mary’s and a follower of Jesus; indeed, some would say she was one of his favorites even above his disciples. Depends on which biblical scholars you ask.
A monarchal line was changed by American Wallis Simpson, a divorcee who had an affair with King Edward the VIII (also known as the Duke of Windsor). Edward, as king, could not marry a divorced woman, let alone an American, so he abdicated his throne for this woman whom he loved. Because of her influence, Edward’s brother, George, was crowned king. It is through King George that England has its current monarch, Queen Elizabeth.
Many of these women, especially those who were highly sought after by the aristocracy and royalty, were extremely intelligent, savvy, kind-hearted, and perhaps ahead of their time. They had to be in order to rise above the level of society’s up-turned noses. For while they frowned upon these women who would lead their own lives (shocking!), making their own way in the world outside of the unwritten rules, those same people who would cast stones were doing so from inside glass houses for they, too often, solicited prostitutes or kept mistresses!
This brings us back to present day and the fading archaic traditions of women bought and paid for whether legally in the long term or illegally in the short term. As women have evolved into independent, self-sufficient beings capable of not only taking care of themselves, but also capable of being the bread-winners of their family, we must re-define the term ‘whore’. Because women no longer need to sell themselves into a marriage for security, and can do so only if they feel emotionally moved to share their lives with someone they love, we now have more women who choose to remain single for longer periods of time, and who, without shame, also enjoy a very healthy sex life. These women are not exchanging sex for money. They don’t need to.
These women are taking control and making their own decisions on the direction their path in life will take. The choices they make in a partner may be based on a momentary whim or a deep feeling of connection. Whatever the reason, whatever the choice, we can’t just indiscriminately label them negatively for it. Why must a health sexuality and sexual appetite be a bad thing if tempered responsibly between consenting adults who practice safe sex?
As Goddess-centered pagan religious practices will reveal, women were revered above men long before the advent of Christianity. With Christianity came a 180 degree reversal of that reverence by men who wanted that power and reverence for themselves. Much like the ‘war on women’ we see today in politics in America, whenever women rise in power, men seek to knock them back down, and it all starts with the diminishing of their self-esteem, stripping them of their rights, and demeaning and debasing them verbally, and sometimes, physically. It all starts with an accusation of being a ‘whore’. It’s time to debunk that term and take away its power. Only when it no longer yields influence will women have the confidence to take on more leadership roles in society. Of course, the power-hungry may still call those same women a bitch...but consider that a compliment; much like calling a man a tough SOB.
Organization for Professional Women; San Antonio
The Women's Empowerment Center at San Antonio College
This article is the first in a trilogy of articles. Subscribe to this column to read “Can she really be a lady on his arm, and still be a dirty girl in the bedroom?”, and “The missing sacred feminine; the lover.” All three articles have been inspired by the editors of Fashion Erotica Magazine who will be featured this week on San Antonio Sex and Relationships.
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M. Gwynn has authored two books, Harvest and The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer on Amazon.com .
All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be re-posted whole without written consent by the author. Partial re-posting with a link back to the original article is permitted. For consent, questions, or comments, email megwynn@msn.com.
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